Oh sh*t…

Morning gorgeous xx

How you all doing today? Well I hope? Definitely better than me, that’s for sure.

I’m sorry to say that this could be last post in a very long while. Money is now incredibly tight and the services I need to keep my life on track are going to have to be cut, one by one – I have no choice. I’ve been unable to find a job and there isn’t a clear reason why. Seems like I’m unemployable because I’m Trans and I know I shouldn’t think like that but it’s hard to see it any other way.

In any event, no job and no money means I lose my car and if I lose my car, I can’t work – not around here. It’s too far out in the country. I’ll keep my flat, just, for a while anyway but I’ll lose services such as the internet. And you need that in this day and age.

I won’t be able to pay my debts, so I’m facing bankruptcy again. A second bankruptcy will destroy any plans for my future; as they’ll have to place a restrictions order on me, and I’ll be in my fifties before they lift it.

My bills are high, this flat is expensive to run as it’s all electric. So metered pay as you go is a nasty option when you’re not working. And housing benefit won’t cover my monthly rent. I’ll have to move, but where? A single Trans Woman in her 40s isn’t a priority on the housing list.

I should be able to work; but I can’t. I’ve two broken fingers that are not healing properly, so I’ve as good as lost the use of my right hand. Yet without work, I’m screwed.

I don’t want to go back home as there are reasons why I left, but my mum needs help. She’s just been diagnosed with cancer in her hip and is having radiotherapy treatment as we speak. She needs help and I’m in a position to give it to her, but at the expense of my own life; that I’ve worked so hard to build. If I’m honest though, she’s only got a few years left although I don’t know. It’s all about how the treatment goes.

So what do I do folks? How do I break out of this and get my life back on track? Any ideas gratefully received.

Much love to you all.

Vikki xx