Oh sh*t…

Morning gorgeous xx

How you all doing today? Well I hope? Definitely better than me, that’s for sure.

I’m sorry to say that this could be last post in a very long while. Money is now incredibly tight and the services I need to keep my life on track are going to have to be cut, one by one – I have no choice. I’ve been unable to find a job and there isn’t a clear reason why. Seems like I’m unemployable because I’m Trans and I know I shouldn’t think like that but it’s hard to see it any other way.

In any event, no job and no money means I lose my car and if I lose my car, I can’t work – not around here. It’s too far out in the country. I’ll keep my flat, just, for a while anyway but I’ll lose services such as the internet. And you need that in this day and age.

I won’t be able to pay my debts, so I’m facing bankruptcy again. A second bankruptcy will destroy any plans for my future; as they’ll have to place a restrictions order on me, and I’ll be in my fifties before they lift it.

My bills are high, this flat is expensive to run as it’s all electric. So metered pay as you go is a nasty option when you’re not working. And housing benefit won’t cover my monthly rent. I’ll have to move, but where? A single Trans Woman in her 40s isn’t a priority on the housing list.

I should be able to work; but I can’t. I’ve two broken fingers that are not healing properly, so I’ve as good as lost the use of my right hand. Yet without work, I’m screwed.

I don’t want to go back home as there are reasons why I left, but my mum needs help. She’s just been diagnosed with cancer in her hip and is having radiotherapy treatment as we speak. She needs help and I’m in a position to give it to her, but at the expense of my own life; that I’ve worked so hard to build. If I’m honest though, she’s only got a few years left although I don’t know. It’s all about how the treatment goes.

So what do I do folks? How do I break out of this and get my life back on track? Any ideas gratefully received.

Much love to you all.

Vikki xx

By Vikki Kinsella

My name is Vikki, and I’m a Transgender Female living and working in the UK.

I’ve started this blog purely as a way of writing down my thoughts and feelings, as I now start my journey through transition from living life as Male to becoming Female, and beyond. You see, I spent 45 years of my life living as, what is now known as, a cisgender Male - With almost no idea that I could even consider being Female, let alone consider corrective surgery. But I must admit I did have a tendency to THINK like a woman sometimes... But doesn't every Man think like a woman on occasion? Don't try and hide it boys, you know you do, lol...

3 replies on “Oh sh*t…”

I remember being faced with similar financial / health circumstances a few years ago, and while it was devastating at the time it took all that to truly focus on what I wanted, what was important, really important … it gave me time to work on myself … hence the blog and other changes.
But we women gotta do what we gotta do sometimes … I don’t think I’ve got any good advice other than to be true to yourself … follow your gutt ❤

Liked by 1 person

Thanks Hun. Every situation is different; no matter how similar it looks so there is no advice that will help get me through. But your words are kind and the sentiment is good, so I very much appreciate what you have to say. And it is with many thanks that i write this reply. So thank you hun, it is much appreciated xx

Liked by 1 person

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