Gender Identity…

Morning gorgeous XX

How are you all today? Did to get out of bed the right side? Good. If not, I feel you; but go back to bed right now and get out of the other side please! Lol. Seriously, it’s not pleasant when you wake up to a bad morning, I’ve had many of them in the past and I don’t envy you at all.

The reality for me this morning; though, is that today is a good day. I had my injection yesterday and my stomach hurts. But the doctor, a younger Asian lady who’s name I forget, was a brilliant doctor and we hit it off really well. She even shown me how to do the injection myself. We got on that well that I nearly invited her over for a glass of wine and a natter about being Trans. (If you’re reading this doc, the offers still open; give me a shout! – oops!).

But what she said got me thinking about what it’s like to be Trans, and what does Trans actually mean. It got me thinking about how the Trans world currently sees itself and how I, as an individual, see myself within it.

I read a lot about the different types of thinking within the Trans community – The old skool 1990s train of thought, the new age of inclusivity, the gender wars of the early 2000’s, etc., and it’s a lot to take in all at once. Reading it all makes me wonder just how the rest of society is coping with all this. I mean; I wrote this blog so I could understand it because it’s difficult and I’ve got an IQ of 142 (or thereabout)!

Then I read something this morning, it was a post about ‘detransitioning’ – a term used in the Trans community to mean someone who is going back to their original gender (or going off HRT, which I am on). And there’s a lot of discussion in that area, with some very intellectual thinking; judging by the post I read.

Anyhow, I’ve copied the link here because it’s relevant. It’s relevant to my train of thought, it’s relevant to where my head is at and it’s something I feel I need to understand.

We’ll to give you an idea; my current train of thought is this…

“Now that I have experienced contentment in my thoughts, do I stop here? Or do I carry on and complete the transition?”

Which has got me thinking as to exactly what my transition means to me. How far do I want to go? What do I want to achieve? Who do I want to be?

Time to work that out I think. But in the meantime, take a look at the link below and see what you think. What does it suggest to you?

Answers on a postcard…

Ps. Just to ally the critical mind. This post doesn’t mean that I, personally, am thinking of detransitioning – Far from it. But it does indicate a change in thought processes. Which is something I’m going to tackle in my next post.

Much love,

Vikki xx

By Vikki Kinsella

My name is Vikki, and I’m a Transgender Female living and working in the UK.

I’ve started this blog purely as a way of writing down my thoughts and feelings, as I now start my journey through transition from living life as Male to becoming Female, and beyond. You see, I spent 45 years of my life living as, what is now known as, a cisgender Male - With almost no idea that I could even consider being Female, let alone consider corrective surgery. But I must admit I did have a tendency to THINK like a woman sometimes... But doesn't every Man think like a woman on occasion? Don't try and hide it boys, you know you do, lol...

5 replies on “Gender Identity…”

Interesting indeed … I’ve just had this conversation too, with a friend of mine who has just started hormones. He’s come to that place … do I keep going, or am I comfortable etc … and I think that came about from the discussion the doc had with him re freezing his sperm.
They’re huge decisions! I don’t envy him at all but I do think it’s just cool to be able to have those honest discussions with yourself … at the end of the day, thats who it’s for xo


I feel your friends pain, and I hope she makes the right choice for her. For me, I’m going to keep going; I had a vasectomy in 2014 so the sperm debate was a non issue – they were already gone & I have a child. So as I hope she will see from reading this, everyone’s transition is different; and highly personal. I won’t lose sight of where I want to be as this whole process is about living your dreams, not dreaming your life. I hope you get what I’m trying to say xx

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Oh yes, I do … thankyou for clarifying that xx And thankyou for making your transition so transparent … I admire what you do xo


Thank you hun. Btw, is your friend Male to Female or Female to Male? I know we’ve both used different pronouns to describe the same person; which is unsettling – and will be the subject of a later post, if you’re in agreement with that xx

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hah! glad you picked up on that 😉 He, being a human being (his description) is transitioning to a female. However whats funny is when he’s being an asshole (in the traditional male sense) we refer to him as ‘him’; when she’s being herself, we, and she, refers to her as her. She doesn’t seem to mind this, I think partially because she’s a millennial lol and they’re a lot more accepting of things being in the moment and the way they are. She’s also asked me at times, why I’m so anti being referred to as a female … it always gets us onto the biology of things and degradation that I’ve experienced ‘as one with a vagina’. But at the end of the day we can laugh and compare, sympathise and lend support … and I think thats how the world should be 😉
And sweet as GF … post away xo
(Ps I have another friend whose partner is transitioning from female to male. He isn’t as open about his transition, and thats fine, but he has a lot of support around him, including my mate … which is very cool indeed xx)


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