Reasons for Change.

Morning Gorgeous xx

How is everyone today you all feeling OK? Hope so, you’ll tell me if you aren’t, right? You’d better, don’t lie to me! I can’t help you if you’re lying about what’s really going on in that pretty little head of yours, can I? And that, is exactly where I’m coming from today. Why are we all doing this? What are the reasons behind the deep seated psychological discomfort that comes with Dysphoria?

Well, I’m not so sure today if all Trans people are on the same page.

You know I love a good story, telling one especially – it’s part of what makes you a good parent – Hiding your kids from the truth until they’re ready to understand it. But this one is a cracker. You see, I’ve always stated that I have trouble identifying with a lot of the Trans community that’s out there. And I do, I really do and it’s partly because I just don’t get some of the stories that I’m hearing about WHY people want to Transition. What’s the real motivating factor behind it all?

When the younger Trans community get a hold of this post; after I’ve written it. I’m expecting to get flamed. And rightly so – You exercise your voice kids, that what us parent’s tell you to do. But for fucks sake, make sure your story is straight before you open your mouth. Because if I see even the SLIGHTEST reason to think you’re doing this for the wrong reasons; I call you fucking right out on it. I’ll bring that right to front of the argument, and I’ll make it the argument – Like a damn good shrink should do. I say this because I think there’s a rather large amount of you that actually need that to happen first – not that some of you will listen.

I read a story about a Trans person who was constantly put back by his psychiatrist. Got to admit, that’s annoying, can be a pain in the arse. On it’s own, it looked perfectly acceptable for the patient to kick off and look to change their shrink. Don’t blame them for that.

Then I read a few more, and, being autistic, I started to recognise a pattern. Something didn’t add up about these people. Don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before but early psychologists tried to categorise Trans people into six different types, based on their level of Dysphoria – I’m a category five. I’ve opted for surgery but my dysphoria isn’t great enough yet for it to be an absolute necessity. By contrast, a Drag Queen is a category III and your husband trying on your underwear and liking it, is a category I. Category Six’s are the real crazy’s – they HAVE to have the surgery, it’s the only treatment option. And for the love of Caitlyn Jenner do they let you know it.

But here’s the deal. I don’t think all category IV, V and VI’s are genuine. I think there’s people hiding in there who have other “Personality Disorders“, and have either been misdiagnosed or are deliberately bending the system for some reason.

Tell you how I know.

I was talking to someone on the internet last night, and they shown me pics of their transition. And they’re pretty good, and once the transition is complete; you won’t recognise this individual at all – nice. But something concerned me about this person – Something didn’t add up about their story.

Now I need to be careful here not to give too much away, so it HAS to be vague. But their back story involves a lot of shame, relating to a single event, that was a public outcry. I get it, it hurts – my own back story involves a single event that did some damage to me personally. It sucks when it happens.

I don’t know what the issue was, they never told me, but they immediately started talking about moving to another country as well. That’s a sad state of affairs when that happens to you and it was a couple of years ago, and they say they still have issues now. Maybe a change of scenery is the way forward for them. I did it, I didn’t change country; but I moved away in the end.

I’m damn sure that with all of that going on; is going to create some kind of Dysphoria in your life, and you’re going to have to change something in order to deal with it, your location; definitely – but your sex? Do you really need to change your fucking sex to handle something like that? Do you fuck – get over it.

I mean, this person was getting all upset that the doctors were holding the transition back. They’d been on anti-androgens for several months, but with no Estrogen – That didn’t add up – You need the Estrogen to feminize. Their appearance had changed; as they were still young, but they didn’t look female – they looked like a boyish child. Also, they were expecting massive changes with the Estrogen and looking for them to happen straight away. So much so; that they frowned upon me when I said what changes had happened to me so far, as if the Estrogen wasn’t working. I’ve news for you mate, it is. As for them, it seems to me as if the doctors are trying to get them to see something else, but they can’t.

Anyhow, it made me think about the reasons people look to Transition. And in particular, my own. Well I realised a few things then, and I think I need another post after this one. And it’s going to be deeply personal.

Anyway, it’s late, I need to sleep. So I’ll bid you goodnight.




By Vikki Kinsella

My name is Vikki, and I’m a Transgender Female living and working in the UK.

I’ve started this blog purely as a way of writing down my thoughts and feelings, as I now start my journey through transition from living life as Male to becoming Female, and beyond. You see, I spent 45 years of my life living as, what is now known as, a cisgender Male - With almost no idea that I could even consider being Female, let alone consider corrective surgery. But I must admit I did have a tendency to THINK like a woman sometimes... But doesn't every Man think like a woman on occasion? Don't try and hide it boys, you know you do, lol...

2 replies on “Reasons for Change.”

Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Many thanks Nonetheless We are experiencing problem with ur rss . Do not know why Can not sign up for it. Possibly there is anybody finding identical rss issue? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.