Gender, Colour and Harry Potter, et. al…

How our opinions are shaped by fear of the unknown

Morning Gorgeous xx

I hope you’re all OK and surviving well in these difficult times. We are all facing the very same issues, just from different angles for most of us. And that difference in viewpoint means we approach the same problem in very different ways. Whatever it may be that causes you to view these times from your own perspective, may I hope that it enables you to deal with the current crises that are upon us as quickly and as safely as possible. Not one of us is any different to anyone else, and, as any virologist will tell you; a virus takes no prisoners and has no boundaries. It’s only purpose is to infect and replicate, it has no concern for how that happens…

As lockdown rules begin to relax and the world begins to transform to a new normality, old arguments are starting to reappear; but with a new take. The coronavirus pandemic has created an environment where information is distributed with a basis of fear and illusion, and they are very powerful things. Especially powerful in the field of misinformation, as we are all programmed to react on instinct when faced with a fear we cannot control or understand. Instinctive reactions can be judged, monitored and recorded. And that information can then be used against an individual, or groups of individuals, for any purpose the director sees fit. A dangerous thing in the wrong hands…

Why do I speak the above? Well several issues have been in the news recently and all have required some part of my attention for longer than I would wish for them to do so. All are contentious. And all are very polarising – You’re either on one side of the issue or the other and almost everybody has a black & white viewpoint on them.

So let’s list them, and deal with each one in turn. This method makes for a port longer than I would like, but it also removes the guesswork and possible backlash that a blanket statement could provide. I have a viewpoint on each issue but it is slightly different for each one :-

  • Trans Women/Men
  • Trans parenting & genetics
  • George Floyd & Black Lives Matter
  • Coronavirus & 5G Technology

All very contentious issues, as you can see. And I could easily write an entire post regarding each one of them.

But I’m not going to do that. And the reason for that, is that there is a common theme that runs across all four of them; and it’s in times like these the point I’m going to make is missed. And that is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of harm, fear of rejection and / or marginalisation. Fear of fear itself in some cases. Fear of death…

Powerful stuff isn’t it?

Let’s take an example – J. K. Rowling. That woman stood up and said what she believed was right, not shot down because her opinions marginalise people like myself and Trans groups? Where’s the tolerance? I’ll give you a clue as to where it went, language. The language used to describe a group of individuals that she belongs to (and has all her life) was alien to her, and she stood up for what she believed in and tried to correct it – Only to be shot down in flames by all and sundry because her language was not politically correct. Excuse me? – J. K. Rowling only trying to protect HER identity, just as you and me also have the right to do the same (And well done to Daniel Radcliffe for coming to her defence) – The trigger? Fear. Fear of being marginalised and fear of change, especially when it strikes at the very core of what makes us human.

This brings me nicely onto the next point, the issue of Trans people becoming parents. I am a parent myself, and it’s an amazing feeling bringing new life into the world, watching that life grown into a person and that person becoming a functioning adult within society. I also understand what it’s like to lose that in some way, if not entirely – And that’s a hard thing to have to undergo. The pain, any pain to do with becoming or being a parent…

Strikes at the very core of what makes us human, doesn’t it?

A contentious issue with that is the issue of what makes you a parent and what role you play. Are you a dad or a father, are you a mother or a mum? Do you have children at all? Can you have children at all? Step parents and what part do they play? And the reason I bring this up is the issue of the Trans Man in the UK wanting to be registered as the father of his baby. I feel his pain, I’d love to be registered as the mother of my son, but that’s never going to happen. Not in my lifetime.

These issues strike at the very core of what we are; are you a man or a woman, are you a dad or a mum… Well I see these things as a spectrum, two dimensional; not one as is usually the case. And when you see that which would otherwise be seen as Blank & White, in a second dimension. You start to realise things are not quite what they seem. And you gain a unique perspective on things, a perspective which can be educational if you allow it to be.

J. K. Rowling – She sees people who menstruate as women, and includes Trans Women in that definition, great! not a problem. But Trans Men see themselves as men, but they also menstruate. Problem. So how do you deal with the genetics of Sex and the nuances of Gender, without becoming a target? Easy, put it all on a spectrum. Take a look:

Male – Man/Masc. – Intersex & NB – Woman/Fem. – Female

The Gender / Sex Spectrum – Vikki Kinsella, 2020

How does that look to you? Looks pretty balanced to me. Genetics and those things which, as of today’s science, can’t be changed are at either end of the spectrum. And those related to gender or otherwise can be fluid, are in the middle. (static, defined, fluid, defined and static) because you can change a definition but you can’t change something that’s static. This means that any one person can only ever define themselves by up to 80% of the spectrum at any one time. Using that example, any one person can pick any of up to four labels to define themselves, based on their life experience, gender expression and primary sex characteristics. I use primary sex characteristics as static due to the fact that secondary sex characteristics can be changed by the use HRT.

Let me use myself as an example; based on the information I know about myself currently. My primary sex characteristics are Male and I cannot change that (I have an XY chromosomal make up), I was assigned male at birth, but I define myself as a woman and act & dress accordingly – I can never be Female and must accept that. Another example would be a person who was assigned Female at birth, underwent HRT early in life to gain Male secondary sex characteristics and defines themselves as a man. Unfortunately for this individual, they have Female primary sex characteristics and an XX Chromosomal make-up but that doesn’t stop them defining themselves as a man.

Now you would think that this is quite a narrow viewpoint, but it’s not because any individual is allowed to use up to four points on the spectrum from a base, fixed starting point. Be that starting point be at each end or in the middle. To clarify, if you’re born Intersex and you choose the three fixed points on the spectrum to define yourself, then you can only have one gender identity. You want a second gender identity, which one of your fixed points are you willing to give up to do that? You can’t have all three.

A final point is the issue of Post-Op Trans people – You want to change your fixed points on the spectrum, so be it. I or anyone else should not have an issue with that. Just remember your Karyotype; because, as you will see below, it’s important.

This brings me nicely round to my next point. And that’s the issue of Trans parenting, or more specifically how does that define you as a parent?

It’s an interesting subject and one which I applied the same philosophy to, in order to arrive at, what I feel, is a genuine and fair outcome for all. Now with this issue dropped on my lap, because of the recent issue of a Trans Man wanting to be registered as the father of his child; on the birth certificate (breathe). I can fully understand his wishes and felt his pain, I also have a child and am Trans. The issue strikes a chord right in there. But it left me with a quandary. How can a person who gave birth to a child, from an egg, be the father? – I did biology at school, hang on there a second, they can’t, surely.

I thought about it and came up with the below:

Father – Dad – Parent – Mum – Mother

Vikki Kinsella, June 2020

I’m not going to repeat the logic, if you missed it; go back and read it. But applying that logic to this makes a lot of sense. A Mother can transition and become the child’s dad, a Father can transition and become the child’s mum. Not a problem. The problems start when you add genetics, as they’re fixed; you can’t change them – A Mother supplies the egg and a Father supplies the sperm, that’s human genetics. Fixed, unchangeable.

I am a Father, I gave the sperm, I would like to be his mother but that’s not possible; due to my situation. His Mother is his mum (a parent), I am Daddy One (a parent) and his step dad is Daddy Two (a parent). We are all his parent’s in the eyes of the law; but I didn’t supply the egg. Just as this Trans Man didn’t apply the sperm. In fact, that particular case flips me out as, when you read between the lines, you begin to wonder if it was done deliberately – Why would you gain a Gender Recognition Certificate BEFORE surgery, then stop HRT and become pregnant? That’s a clear indication to me as that you know you’re female and don’t want to accept it. Sorry buddy, a child can have two fathers or mothers but there HAS to be the opposite (mother or father). And in your case, you gave the egg – You’re the mother, tough, deal with it.

There’s two other issues which have come across my desk recently, and their relevance is based on my initial point; which is people can use fear as a weapon – A very powerful one that can change minds and communities forever. Leaving a legacy that will usually carry a bitter taste in the mouth of those who repeat it. But that’s fear, it’s scary (silly as it sounds, we’re all human).

A virus created a pandemic and there were questions regarding it’s cause. Those questions came due to a lack of clear, tangible information based on facts; facts that could be verified. Thereby what information was available could be questioned, misinterpreted and falsified to suit an individuals desires – The root of the phrase “A little knowledge is a bad thing”.

This was particularly prevalent when it came to the issue of a new technology which was, due to unfortunate timing, to be rolled out at the same time as the virus struck. Silly really but there was a common subject between the two technologies that required a lot of knowledge to fully understand it’s implications for both issues (or lack of them – don’t believe in coincidence, trust me; they exist).

Oxygen. The giver of life. Molecule number eight in the periodic table of the elements – A lack of it will kill you, and asphyxiation was a primary cause of death in coronavirus patients – Good to know. But did you know that the primary resonant frequency of the Oxygen molecule is 60 gigahertz? Interesting, I hear you cry; where do I know that number from? Oh, I know, 5G Technology, doesn’t that use 60Ghz as well?

Well yes it does, deliberately. Because Oxygen absorbs radio waves at that frequency, thereby limiting their distance. What is also noteworthy, is that due to the make up of the molecule itself, there is no change the the state of the oxygen molecule upon absorption of 60Ghz Photon radiation (Radio Waves).

What that essentially means is that 5G won’t cause coronavirus asphyxiation symptoms (they’re known to be caused by secondary pneumonia as the lungs fill up with liquid from elsewhere). All that will happen to air when 5G radiation hits it is that it gets a very, VERY tiny bit warmer. That’s all. Nothing to see here, move along quietly now…

The final issue to drop across my desk, which I formed an opinion on, is the Issue of George Floyd and “Black Lives Matter” – Those last eight minutes of that man’s life must have been agonising hell on earth. What those officers put him through in the name of justice for a bounced cheque, is abominable in anyone opinion. In all honesty, what happened to the man can be seen as amounting to Murder.

That’s my thoughts on the subject. But I have no fear, no fear of reprisal, no fear of marginalisation, no fear of being flamed for this post – Do it, bring it on, I say. But that man felt fear. His last eight minutes were full of it. And that very same fear strikes at the core of my being, because of the circumstances surrounding my rape (see “The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Had To Write” for more on that).

The man was marginally represented, due to the colour of his skin. And suffered discrimination and adversity because of it. A feeling I can relate to being Transgender, as I too have suffered discrimination due to my gender expression (see “Toiletgate“). He was discriminated against, he was seen as a second class citizen, it was as if his life didn’t matter – It did, very much so. ALL lives matter, in fact. Not just Black lives.

But what I’ve seen in the media since that story broke has been nothing short of complete idiocy and lunacy, especially in the face of the current virus pandemic. There is a clear issue here where the crowd mentality overtook common sense because of a fear of reprisal. And those that drove that crowd, did for their own ends. If his life, and what his death stands for, mattered that much to you; you wouldn’t risk your own life unless you really thought your own life didn’t matter. And if that were the case, you weren’t thinking straight and shouldn’t have been there in the first place!

Your life, and those of whom your closest to; matter more than those of a complete stranger. Especially in times like these. There are plenty of other ways to protest that mans passing without standing in a crowd of 5000 people passing a deadly virus to all who attend. And don’t say it wasn’t passed around, as it will be a good two weeks before we know the truth of that one!

Define your level of stupidity and stick to it! And don’t risk anyone else in the process…

So, as you can see there are four very big issues there all tied together by one, simple but very important factor; fear. And when you step above those issues you can see how fear exacerbated the issue to a level beyond it’s boundaries and in propelled it to headline status – Fear of marginalisation, fear of failure, fear of danger and fear of discrimination. All forms of fear. Yet what causes that fear? Where does it come from and why do we let it control us at the expense of rational thinking? Simple, it’s the response. the media grabbing headline hit straight at the core and provoked an instinctive reaction based on fear. When in reality, if we accept those things we cannot change and find a way to change those that we can that doesn’t involve dangerous risks; we can, ultimately and given time, change the world.

Patience, thought, foresight and an ingrained knowledge of what is right will win the day, and the war, here. Not fear, injustice, battles and bad decisions. You may win a battle or two like that, but never the war. That title will go to the real heroes, who have a head on their shoulders and know how to use it.

Much Love,

Vikki xx

By Vikki Kinsella

My name is Vikki, and I’m a Transgender Female living and working in the UK.

I’ve started this blog purely as a way of writing down my thoughts and feelings, as I now start my journey through transition from living life as Male to becoming Female, and beyond. You see, I spent 45 years of my life living as, what is now known as, a cisgender Male - With almost no idea that I could even consider being Female, let alone consider corrective surgery. But I must admit I did have a tendency to THINK like a woman sometimes... But doesn't every Man think like a woman on occasion? Don't try and hide it boys, you know you do, lol...

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