Stop acting like a woman…

…And start being one.

And there. Right there. Is the crux of the Male to Female journey for me. And very probably most of those in my generation, but anyway….

Morning gorgeous… xx

How are you my lovelies. I hope you’re all getting where you want to be, no matter how long it takes you. As it will always take longer for some than for others. It’s just the way the world is.

Never forget that as it’s a damn good piece of advice. Well, let me share some other useful pieces of advice with you; and you’ll start to see what I’ve been thinking today:

They say patience is a virtue, and it is – good things come to those who wait, no doubt about that.

They also tell you that if you want something badly enough, then you must go out and get it. And that is also a damn good piece of advice. There is no point in waiting around if you already know what you want. Go get it girl.

Well these are two conflicting pieces of advice. One is telling you to wait and see what happens and the other is telling you not to, just to go ahead and do it. Well which one do you choose, and how do you choose? Well you choose the one that’s right for your situation, and only you will know which one that is. No one can tell you, it’s something you really do have to work out for yourself – you have no choice. People can advise you, but anyone can give advice. It’s the one thing everyone gives and no one takes. And you NEVER take your own, do you?

Don’t lie.

Well I have had a similar problem over the years with two conflicting pieces of advice. And I think it’s a problem that anyone struggling to discover their self identity has had. Cutting to the Chase, the biggest part of the problem was not the advice itself, but working out which one best suited me and helped me to deal with the situation.

As I’ve said, growing up, I was expected to be a particular type of person. I was expected to be male. I was physically and socially a boy and I would grow up to be a man. And because of that, one of the biggest pieces of advice that was ingrained into me when things went wrong was the phrase; “Stop acting like a woman”. I was visibly a man and men don’t cry, men know what to do (apparently), men have confidence in a given situation, and men keep their cool. 1980s society in the western world all over; right?

Good, you got it. But there was another piece of advice that was coming to the fore. And that advice was offered to me many times – and it makes sense to follow it too. That is; “Be Yourself and be the best version of yourself that you can be”. Good one that isn’t it, who can’t tell me they don’t know that one today?

So now we have Gender Dysphoria. And the issue of not being able to choose between two conflicting things. Essentially, “Are you a man or a woman?”.

Oops, did I say something there? You did read that didn’t you?

I hope you did, because I’ve just hit the nail on the head. I’ve just described, at least my; dysphoria for the first time. And it’s something that I suspect there’s a lot of people out there; that can relate to. Because the issue I’ve faced all my life, the thing that has blown my brain without realising it all these years, is that I was always being told to stop acting like a woman, when I actually felt like I am one.

Now to grasp my situation fully, I’d like you to put that in the mind of a 10 year old, prepubescent child. Whose just been raped because his schoolmates thought he was gay. And it wasn’t acknowledged by anyone – it was covered up. “The dunking” as my mother referred to it. Funny that, didn’t feel like I was being dunked, more spit roasted.

But anyway; the advice was, stop acting like a woman and be a man about it. Grow up. You want to tell me exactly how you expect me to do this? Please?…



By Vikki Kinsella

My name is Vikki, and I’m a Transgender Female living and working in the UK.

I’ve started this blog purely as a way of writing down my thoughts and feelings, as I now start my journey through transition from living life as Male to becoming Female, and beyond. You see, I spent 45 years of my life living as, what is now known as, a cisgender Male - With almost no idea that I could even consider being Female, let alone consider corrective surgery. But I must admit I did have a tendency to THINK like a woman sometimes... But doesn't every Man think like a woman on occasion? Don't try and hide it boys, you know you do, lol...

One reply on “Stop acting like a woman…”

I wish I could tell you, sis. I’m sorry that happened to you, I’ll never understand how a parent can just brush off something like this happenening to their child x x x


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