Morning gorgeous ❤️ x
How are we all today? Good I hope. Because let me tell you, I’m not. I’m flipping angry. Very angry. Ready to … Well. Let’s not say that. But the pain hurts.
Why? Are you wondering? When everything has gone so well, and you’ve had one of the best transitions possible? What have you got to be angry about?… I’ll tell you why. And you’re not going to like it.
Transphobia.
Yeah, there it is. I’ve said it. And I flipping well mean it. I’m sick of it. It’s on the rise thanks to a few stupid people, who’ve got issues of their own; and it needs to stop. Do you know what the hilarious part is though? It’s that if people could just take a step back and actually talk to someone who’s Trans, most of these issues would disappear.
Because until you know someone who’s Trans, you’ve only got the rhetoric to go on. And the rhetoric is just that, rhetoric – Biased talk to get a point across and make you believe that what you’re hearing is real. And it’s not. Real life does not involve rhetoric. Rhetoric. Stinks.
Let me give you an idea of what’s happened, but you can guess. It’s not hard. Because it involves toilets. The bane of a Trans persons existence. And yet all we want to do, is go the loo; like everyone else…
So what happened?
Well that’s easy. I was in a karaoke bar, in Liverpool; the nearest city to where I live. Having a sing a long. And I’ll be honest, I open my mouth to sing and out comes Frank Sinatra, Micheal Bublé, et. al. – I’m a damned good singer and I know it; hell, I’ve got an audition soon that I’m really looking forward to. But, as you do, you need the loo. And that’s where the fun starts. Especially if your voice doesn’t fit the characteristics that it should.
So I bumps into a lady as I’m leaving the loo and there’s a short conversation regarding a lack of cleanliness material. This is not the fault of the management, there are issues beyond that and they’re doing the best they can; with regard to a bad situation – All credit to them. So, anyway, the conversation ends and no more is said. Until…
About 10 minutes later.
I’m having a quick chat with the DJ about something (I am one myself, as you know) and the manageress appears. Asking me can she have a quick chat outside… I know where this is going, you know where this going and we all know what question is about to be asked. Don’t we?? So let me say this now …
WHY THE FUCK DOES WHAT’S INSIDE MY TROUSERS FUCKING MATTER???
Because that’s what I was asked. In the form of dealing with a complaint, of course. They are, apparently, an inclusive establishment and all are welcome. Everybody is treated equally. Fair is fair in love and war and all that… But what’s inside your fucking trousers matters. You see, I was asked if I was “Fully Transitioned”. Because a complaint had been made about a man being in the female toilets. And not only was I asked this in the form of a complaint, clearly made against me. But I was also asked this in the middle of a public thoroughfare. Right outside the entrance to a major shopping centre. For all to see.
Clearly that was meant to embarrass me.
You see, I had no choice but to stay calm and deal with it professionally; as thankfully I am able to do so – I fear for anyone who is not as capable as me. Because the situation that unfolded, was I was asked, in the street, not only by the manageress (yeah, she was female) but also by a six foot six bouncer; who, as I displayed a little bit of annoyance at being placed in this position, moved ever closer in an intimidating manner. Suggesting he was prepared to involve himself, should he need to. What genitalia did I have. In order to determine whether I had the right to use that toilet.
Talk about embarrassing.
Let me tell you right here, had he involved himself, events would have taken a very different path. Probably involving Law Enforcement (though I wonder how they would have resolved the situation). As I am also trained in Mixed Martial Arts, and very capable of handling myself in difficult situations; in public settings – In fact, I’m trained to do so. Which is why I prefer a more professional approach; as that is the way to resolve these issues. Because, otherwise, it would have got messy. Mate.
Well I managed to deal with the situation. Only to find that as I was about to get my coat, the DJ pulled me up to sing. Which is funny really, as I’d been waiting nearly an hour to sing and was late for my bus. So his timing was, sort of impeccable, don’t you think. And clearly engineered. So, I kept my cool, sang my song with a tenuous feeling in my voice; definitely not my best performance. And left. Never to return. There is no way in hell I’m going near that establishment again. I don’t feel safe there.
So where do we go from here?
Well I’m considering my options and I will talk to someone with greater knowledge of the law on these issues; not that I lack knowledge, by any means. And I will proceed with caution, I have to. The rise of Transphobia, particularly from right wing politicians here in the UK creates a very unwelcome backdrop for issues such as these. But these issues cannot be left to fester, this issue cannot be left. Things must change. And if I have to do it, I will. I don’t have the fear that most do. And it’s issues like this that have stripped me of that fear.
We will see, shall we? And I will most definitely keep you posted.
Much Love,
Vikki ❤️ x
Feeling Trans 