Reflections

Hello everybody,

How are you all? I hope you are well and life is being kind to you, as it has been to me recently.

First of all, let me apologise for the lack of posts in recent months. December is traditionally a difficult time for me; I have the anniversaries of a number of people whom I have lost, across that month. It’s always difficult. January? Not sure what happened there, I can only blame it on the work I was doing – Yes, I had found a job; well a contract but a very well paid one nonetheless. And doing that work; even though it ended abruptly and I’m unhappy with the way it ended, has boosted my confidence massively – I feel human again.

So what else has been happening in the interim? Not much really, well nothing external anyway. If you were on the outside looking in, I don’t believe you’d think that too much has changed, because it hasn’t. I got a job, woo-hoo! Go me! I changed my hairstyle, wow! I got new glasses, super-cool. But no, they’re only the external validations that I am now a woman, the internal changes over the last few months… Well… That’s another story entirely.

Seriously, I look back and compare me now; to me then, and I see two different people. I had confidence on the outside back then, but no confidence from within (it was there, i just didn’t use it). Whereas now, yeah, i’m even more feminine now than I ever was and proud of it. Another example, I’ve quit smoking. I only smoke socially now; when certain situations take place, but they’re few and far between. I’m at home a lot more often than I used to be and don’t drink anywhere near what I used to (I don’t need to) – I still like a drink though and will happily get plastered at parties, hell why not? It’s just that they don’t happen like they used to and I think & control myself more than I ever before.

My thoughts are clearer and I can remember more about what I’m doing now – My short-term memory has improved significantly. Out of that came a desire to clean & tidy myself and my environment. My flat looks fabulous and feels like home, I also feel much more settled there now. I’ve also changed my appearance, as mentioned previously, to a much more softer; feminine look, and It’s been noticed, let me put it that way! See for yourself…

I love it, what do you guys think? Answers on a postcard, lol

Anyway, it’s late and I need some sleep; a woman’s work is never done and I have lots to do. I’ll check back in over the next few days and fill out the events of recent times; but for now, I bid you all goodnight and wish you the sweetest of dreams…

Much Love,

Vikki xx