Going it alone…

Afternoon gorgeous XX

How are you all today? I hope you are all well and enjoying the unseasonably good weather we are having here in the UK – Long may it last 🙂 …

So, anyway, let me apologise first of all for being a little quiet recently. Work commitments took a great deal of my time between the end of October and early February. Assisted by the fact that the money coming in; was used to help resolve some difficulties I was facing at that time.

I’m in a much better place now, even though I’m not working again (contracts can end at any time, for any reason – and we will leave that there). I see things very much clearer now, and I’ve noticed a significant amount of minor changes which, although unimportant in themselves, add up to quite a shift in my thinking. Particularly if you apply that to the male to female spectrum.

Yes, I think much more like a woman now. Without realising those changes had taken place. Interesting stuff, but will require a few more posts over the next few weeks; in order to define exactly what I’m talking about.

But still, there’s a reason for this post and its title. A reason which, although was presented to me in many different forms, I couldn’t see until very recently. And that is just exactly how far I’ve come and how far I’m prepared to go, in order to win this personal battle with myself

You see, I haven’t had any psychiatric help throughout my transition. I haven’t really had the help of my family (although they are aware) and my friends, until recently, didn’t know how to help me (although I love them more than ever for trying, and the invaluable advice they’ve given me). But every single decision, every single action and every single change that needed to be faced and made, I made alone.

I read various advice columns & sites on the internet and almost all of them say the same thing – it’s impossible to go through transition alone. And I agree, it’s bloody difficult but not impossible. Not if you have some form of support network, someone you can talk to – even about the most trivial of matters. They don’t need to be a qualified mental health professional, they don’t need a doctorate in Psychology / Psychiatry – They just need to be prepared to listen and empathize.

Let’s be honest here; they can’t understand, they’re not going through it and likely never will, but we are all human. We all need to talk to someone at some point in our lives, in order to help us gain a different perspective on an issue that we must face.

Now by no means am I desensitizing or downgrading any part of the process; that a Trans individual must face – I myself have had such a hard battle to even work out that I was Trans, let alone go through the Transition itself. But, as I said previously, this is very much a personal battle of mine, a battle with myself in order to come to terms with the truth regarding who I am and what I want, from life.

I just hope that you, the reader, whoever you may be, are able to understand that.

Much Love,

Vikki xx

By Vikki Kinsella

My name is Vikki, and I’m a Transgender Female living and working in the UK.

I’ve started this blog purely as a way of writing down my thoughts and feelings, as I now start my journey through transition from living life as Male to becoming Female, and beyond. You see, I spent 45 years of my life living as, what is now known as, a cisgender Male - With almost no idea that I could even consider being Female, let alone consider corrective surgery. But I must admit I did have a tendency to THINK like a woman sometimes... But doesn't every Man think like a woman on occasion? Don't try and hide it boys, you know you do, lol...

3 replies on “Going it alone…”

i completely agree … it is possible to do certain things ‘alone’ or by alternative means … its certainly what i’m doing 🙂
congratulations to you and your amazing strength!!!! xx


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.