Life on the other side

Morning Gorgeous xx

How are you all today? Good I hope. As always, I hope that life is treating you well, I wish you every success and, if life is not heading in an upward direction, that it will do soon. And I hope it gets easier for you. In the meantime, however, I’ve been given something to think about. And in addition, I promised I’d answer a question on a particular subject; for someone, in this post.

Now, I never normally identify anything or anyone directly, due to this being a public forum. There have been issues in the past, and I stick to my guns on all of them, but everyone has a right to anonymity. I give enough information for the people involved to know it was about them, but if you weren’t involved, you’d never know who was involved.

This post, however, is different. As I was asked a question earlier by a friend who I used to work with, at a company in Littleport, Cambridgeshire. We got on really well, and we lived in the same village for a short while. But times move on and age now works for quite a well known institution in London; whereas I have bounced a little bit and gone through a few changes. But I’d like to thank her directly for asking the question she did and, as promised, answer it.

So, thank you Hannah; your question is definitely a good one and the answer will be food for thought, I’m sure…

What was the question she asked? Simply put and verbatim, if that’s not too much of an issue (I’m sure it wouldn’t); her question was this:

“Bless you. Are you enjoying life as a lady? Would love to know if you think it is a tougher gig on our side? ☺️ It must have been a very difficult decision to make and communicate, so huge respect to you for being brave enough to be true to yourself 💓x”

Hannah, February, 2020

In my reply, I advised I would answer the question here, tonight. And I stick to that promise. Although I’ll give a short version, and a more in-depth one, as there’s more to this than meets the eye…

So, OK, the short version is relatively quick and painless but asks more question a than it answers. As it is straightforward, see below:

Hannah, to answer your question; Yes and No, but for different reasons. What's easy for one, is hard for the other, and vice-versa. Society is much more bias towards men, but they don't have as much fun because they can't get away with as much. Although the balance is probably 60 / 40 in favour of men when all the cards are on the table.

OK. The feminists in the room have just stood to attention and the Chauvinists in the room quickly stood to greet them. Great. Do me a favour guys and gals; take your arguments outside, your the extremes and you’ve stopped listening. Until you’ve calmed down, there’s no point in you reading further. For the rest of us, I promise to keep the science, politics and personal viewpoints to a minimum. And continue…

Let me use an analogy that I used to use a great deal, earlier in my career, when teaching people how to use computers. It’s a simple one and it goes like this; “As God made man in his own image, then man makes computers also; in his own image”. Gotcha yet? Well it’s simple, look at the human brain and compare it to the components of a personal computer – They both have memory, short and long term. The have storage. They video and audio capabilities. Processing and executive functions. Operating Systems….

Making sense? Look at it another way, Neurotypical Typical people run MS Windows, Autistic (NeuroDiverse) people run Linux. Get it?… Knew you would, lol

Well OK then, how the hell does that apply to men and women? For sure Men and women are built and designed differently – From the ground up to do different jobs but what?

Let’s change our viewpoint slightly. Let’s look at software and hardware, as both are needed for a computer to run. And let’s keep the viewpoint a simple one – Without the hardware, the computer wouldn’t exist and without the the software, the computer doesn’t work and wont run. Clear so far. Well now apply that one level up. Computer > Human > God…

Lightbulb switched on yet? I’ll wait…

Men are the hardware, and women are the software. Men are generally inflexible and strong. Their designed to work, their solid, usually well built and require power to run. Women are the software. They’re flexible, they can apply themselves easily to a task and multitasking comes easily (doesn’t matter who’s better at it, keep it simple). Do you see the differences and the problems that each side faces. As well as the interdependency on each other for survival? Are you also able to figure out why I said its probably 60 / 40 in men’s favour? Let me explain…

In previous posts I’ve talked about male privilege, and in particular about how I’ve lost it? Well use this model, when you hit the power switch on the wall, what gets the electricity and wakes up first?

So now that you have the model I used to work out the answer, what in fact is the answer to Hannah’s question?

Simple, it’s tougher on this side – tougher for women. Life is more complex, more emotional, more difficult to understand. We’re constantly battling with our database of emotions and feelings, and we have to be on our guard for viruses (threats) every, single, day. Low alert is not an option unless we feel safe. And men’s patriarchal attitude to women doesn’t help that at all.

But, men don’t have it easy either. They’re biggest battle is to remain productive and useful against the backdrop of a Hormone that is constantly spiking. However, men will always have the privilege of going first as they are, typically, physically stronger than women.

So, men, you may have high levels of hCG and can’t function because all you can think about is ejaculating in order to think straight; but women have that when they’re pregnant, and they can get that brain-fog too. What you fail to realise is that women are constantly battling three hormones not one and that’s without hCG. So maybe they need a break?

But there’s one thing I left out. And when it came to me before, it felt like a lightbulb. And I chuckled…

With regard to Trans people, they can also be explained using the model above. And it’s quite easy to do. Any computer analyst will know about Virtulisation – software that is hardware, hardware that is software (Firmware???). To explain a Trans Man’s brain is a Virtual Machine – software that must run as hardware in order to exist. A Trans Woman’s brain is firmware – software that is locked inside hardware. Would everyone agree?

Much Love,

Vikki x

By Vikki Kinsella

My name is Vikki, and I’m a Transgender Female living and working in the UK.

I’ve started this blog purely as a way of writing down my thoughts and feelings, as I now start my journey through transition from living life as Male to becoming Female, and beyond. You see, I spent 45 years of my life living as, what is now known as, a cisgender Male - With almost no idea that I could even consider being Female, let alone consider corrective surgery. But I must admit I did have a tendency to THINK like a woman sometimes... But doesn't every Man think like a woman on occasion? Don't try and hide it boys, you know you do, lol...

4 replies on “Life on the other side”

You’re very welcome Hannah. I do hope I’ve given an unbiased and balanced response to your question, and I’m glad you like it. The blog is on a free account; so it, and this post, will remain here as long as WordPress does. Next time you’re in a discussion about the differences between Men & Women, point people in this direction and see what they say. You know someone with inside knowledge of both, lol.

Love ya & Speak Soon hun xx


I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is required to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100 positive. Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated. Appreciate it


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