Category Personal

Moving on with life ❤️

Vikki Kinsella 1 Comment

Morning gorgeous ❤️💛💚💙💜 xx

How are you all doing? Good I hope. I do hope that things are starting to ease for you. That the havoc that has been wrecked upon us is slowly starting to have less of an impact on your life. And that you’re finding your new “Normal”. We will all get there, it just may take some more time than others; and that’s fine too.

On that note, let me drop something :-

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change”

Anon, et. Al.

So you’re wondering why I’ve put that there, aren’t you? I know I would be. I was thinking that as I wrote it, (They’re going to wonder if I’ve gone mad) lol. But if you’ve been reading this from the very beginning, you’ll know I never do anything without a reason. And there’s a reason for this, lol (isn’t there always?)…

The reason is simple. I now believe that statement – With every fibre of my being, I believe that now.

I believe that if everybody thought more along those lines, that this world would be a better place. I believe that as long as we are capable of rational thought, we should never forget the true meaning of that statement. And I also believe that if there was ever a mantra, doctrine, religion, or whatever; that the human race needs to follow in order to better define itself. Then this is it. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change. Simple.

In fact, it’s the very root of the problem. It’s the reason I’ve been so quiet; for me, it was the writers block. Trust me, it was. Don’t believe me? Let me tell you…

So, OK then, missus; what’s behind this new Mantra of yours? And how is it changing things for you? Don’t be shy, do tell… Well, the second part is easy; I’m now up & about, starting new projects, getting on with new things, and I’m feeling a lot better about myself than what I used to – Hell I’m even looking for another job! Shit! Believe it, lol. I also have a team of very talented people around me who believe in the same things I do and have similar visions, some of these people have known me a very long time; which surprises me; but there you go, lol. And for the first time in years, I feel like I can actually achieve something; with the cards I have on my table. Although there’s always the risk that someone will take all the credit (*cough*, JB/TT, *cough*)…

But I’ve seen that before (see above, don’t ask). Because I’ve learnt the hard way that if someone is going to take something from you, that they want for themselves, there’s nothing you can do to prevent that; they will find a way of taking it if they’re desperate enough. No matter how hard you try to stop them. All you can do is mitigate the damage that they cause and hope that the one key element that you need, is the one piece you manage to keep. Because without that key element, they will never achieve the same as you could; had you been able to keep it.

Let me give you a recent example, one we all know; all to well. The war in Ukraine. It’s a good one for a reason, as it matches the principal that I’m trying to get across. It’s not the best example (waaay too much shit over there, and I do pray for them all; honestly, I…) but it’ll do as it has a lot of impact; which is what I like. The war itself is not the important part, what is important is the mindset that it has generated, on a global scale. To put it bluntly, someone has taken something that is not rightfully theirs and it’s forced us all to look at things in a new and radical way. And as soon as you do that, you start to change things. You realise that previously was, is no longer tenable and in order to protect the status quo, you must change something. You have to, otherwise you will lose what you have got – Does it make sense now?

I hope it does, because; as much as this shit is easy to write (And yeah, yeah, another cocky writer is on the scene who thinks they know it all..), it’s not easy to put into practice. Far from it, for some people it’s bloody impossible. Because you have to step out of your comfort zone and look at things in a different perspective. And stepping out of your comfort zone induces fear; the fight or flight response and we all know what that can lead to.

A point of note; is that the people who have the biggest problem dealing with this exact issue, are also the people with the biggest fucking ego’s. Because Ego is the slayer of change. You can’t have a super huge ego and expect to change the world (look at most religions) because in order to change the world, you have to be prepared to change yourself. And no one with a huge fucking ego wants to change, because they are well and truly happy the way they are… Idiots, lol

So what I’ve realised, over time. And the reason for this particular post. Is that if you’re going to change the way you look at things, in order for those things you’re looking at to change. You’ve got to start by looking at yourself. Because charity begins at home, so to speak. If you’re not prepared to make the necessary changes, no one is going to accept them when you do. You want to lead, you lead from the front. You lead by example. You want to change the world, start by changing yourself. Pretty fucking simple really.

Vladimir Putin, take note; this is for you. Idiot.

Much Love

Vikki xx

Hi Guys & Gals… xx

Vikki Kinsella Leave a comment

Morning Gorgeous 🙂 xx

How you all doing peeps? Surviving the typical english summer (or whatever the weather might be around the world)? Good, I hope so.

So this post is a little bit of a test; but also another chance for me to ask some questions – I like to communicate in both directions. What I’m doing, is moving the blog off my personal page on Facebook and onto a public one. This will give people in certain parts of my life a choice as to whether they read the posts or not. Turns out I offended some people recently and as much as I believe in what I’m writing, sometimes you have to take a step back and go in a slightly different direction. Well this is it.

If you’re on Twitter or Google Plus; etc. there is no change. On Facebook, this should be the first post on a new page; separate from my personal profile. A learning curve, all good.

Right. So, there’s a few things in my head that need to come out. And I want to write them down here, this is MY blog. A few people have tried suppress posts in the past, not having it. I may apologise publically if something offends you but this is my version of events, written under my rules. The only person I won’t say no to on here, is myself. Out in the real world; I need to learn to do that again anyway. So this is my safe space.

OK, so here’s the disclaimer…

IF ANYTHING I WRITE ON HERE FROM NOW ON OFFENDS ANYBODY I KNOW, OR USED TO KNOW. CONTACT ME PRIVATELY AND WE WILL SORT IT OUT. DO NOT POST PUBLICALLY WITHOUT CONTACTING ME FIRST.

A darling member of my family recently made such a mistake and embarrassed not only me, but herself as well. AND caused issues in the family. All they had to do was call me; something I’d been waiting for; for months, anyway and we could have sorted it out. If you were hurt by what I said Kid, so was I. Pointless.

So anyway, fresh start for the Facebook side of things, onward and upward for the rest. Here’s to a brighter future; whatever that may entail.

Much Love,

 

Vikki xx

First steps…

Vikki Kinsella 1 Comment

Afternoon my lovelies xx

How are you all today? Good I hope. I can finally say that I’m starting to feel that way – for the first time in a very long time.

So, as you can see; it’s been quite an incredible two weeks. In fact, its been an incredible two years. Since I discovered I was autistic, I have travelled a very long and difficult road. A road which has eventually led me to today.

Today is a significant day; as it’s the day many people in the past have told me to aim for. So many people before today have told me to do this and I’ve always found an excuse, but no more. No more excuses, no more avoidance tactics, no more “I can’t”; for whatever reason.

Today; I can, I will and I did.

I reported the crime to the police. Finally, reported it to the police and asked for something to be done about it. I feel like a massive; massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders. And I feel good.

The police have accepted it and I’ve given an initial statement. And they’ve passed it on to the governing force for the school I was at. Time will tell.

But it’s not about that for me anymore. You see now I can breathe again, I can start to live again and finally begin to repair the damage that has been done.

The perpetrators, I don’t care about. I suspect the police will; but that’s not my prime concern. I know they did what they did and it hurts immensely, but it’s time to forgive and forget. A childish prank that went too far.

The school, now that’s a completely different ballgame. They had a duty of care to ensure I was safe and protected; and they failed in that. They failed to the extreme if covering up the incident from my parents and removing the bullies. Ensuring that the whole arena looked like nothing ever happened.

Well it did. And I’m alive to tell the tale. And now it’s been told. And the process of justice for the cover up begins…

Much love,

Vikki xx

Apologies

Vikki Kinsella Leave a comment

Good morning All… xx

It has transpired that my last post has been seen as very insensitive to certain situations which are happening in my life and those of people around me. Because of that; actions have been taken and conversations have been held that should never have happened. This has been detrimental and caused issues within my family, something which; and please believe me when I say, I had wished to avoid. To all my frien

I owe members of my family an apology and the best place for that to happen would be in the same forum as the original post, here. And I do so now; I apologise, unreservedly.

Without wanting to cause further trauma, I would to take a short opportunity to explain myself – and it will be brief. There are issues going on in my life which are long-term, I am working through these issues in order to create a brighter future. I am receiving help, professional help, to deal with them. There is never going to be a right time for certain events to happen; but there will also never be a wrong time – Issues are raised when they are raised and its about dealing with them as soon as possible. The reason for that is I have to deal with it before the next one comes out, and there is a queue.

Writing a post like the last one is a very emotional experience and care can be lost when such an issue is committed to paper. I will try, in future, to take more care of what I post; before I post.

To those members of my family who were upset by the last post. I am sorry, please believe me 😦

Much Love,

 

Vikki xx

The hardest thing I’ve ever had to write

Vikki Kinsella 6 Comments

Good Morning Gorgeous xx

Due to the recent change in UK Law, specifically the Online Safety Act, 2023 and the steps taken by OFCOM here in the UK regarding personal responsibility for online content that could be harmful to those under the age of 13. I have taken the decision to remove this post from my blog.

The post depicted an incident to which I was a victim, that happened in 1982. This incident changed my life forever, and I was never the same after it happened. The incident was brushed under the carpet by authorities and care-givers at that time, and only came to loight during 2018. The description of the incident was incredibly graphic, and aided me a great deal in my recovery. And has served it’s purpose admirably.

But I must ensure the safety of others and I cannot allow such an event to happen to anyone else. Therefore, such a graphic description of the event could be seen as harmful; when that was never the intention.

Rest assured, this decision was not taken lightly. And all applicable information was considered before action was taken. If you wish to see the original content, for research purposes, please contact me at vikki@feelingtrans.com with details of your request. And we can enter into a dialogue regarding you obtaining an original copy of the post.

Please, do stay safe and well all of you.

Much love,

Vikki x