Afternoon gorgeous xx

How are you all doing today? I hope today is better than yesterday and tomorrow is better than today. If only that were true…

For the moment, with everything that is going on; that is exactly the case. And I’ll come to all of that in a minute; but for now, I have a really good story to tell. A milestone on my journey; in fact.

You see today; I got dressed and went shopping, with friends. Looking for a couple of bits and pieces for the flat – make it a bit more “girly”; so to speak. The internal feminisation is complete and I’m now working on the external, how I look and feel, how I live; I am woman, hear me roar.

All went well, no interruptions, apart from one woman who did a double take when she seen my face – didn’t bother me, I thought it was quite cool.

But then I got home. And as I arrived, I was greeted by a new postman. To whom I said hello to. Nice chap, very talkative.

I got my shopping from the car in two trips; and headed indoors. As I did so, he was delivering a parcel to my neighbours; who were out. I said I’d take it in. He questioned me. I said I knew them and took the parcel. We both thought no more of it.

He carded my neighbour and turned to my door, as I was going through it. He asked me did I live there; to which I said yes. It was what happened next; by both him and me, that shocked me.

He asked me what my husband’s name was. And I immediately responded with “Robert”; my former name and he said, “You must be Victoria then”. And handed me all my mail.

It was then that I realised what had just happened…

Even though I was speaking to him in a relatively low, masculine, tone. Every visual cue that he was given said to him that I was female. So he assumed I was female and I never corrected him. I’d done it; and I had the proof. I’d become a woman.

I couldn’t believe it as he turned and left. Had this really just happened? Did he just refer to my former name as my husband? I wasn’t wearing a wedding ring; so maybe I should? But before he gave me the chance to correct him, he was gone. And at that moment, Robert had finally died; and was gone, and Vikki is now complete. My social transition to a woman – stage two – is now complete.

So where do we go from here?

Well, there’s still a lot of work to be done. It’s time to live my life as I want to now. I don’t have to hide behind any shadows anymore. I have stepped out into the light and become who I wanted to be. I just need to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life; and get out there and do it.

There really is nothing to stop me now as I’m no longer scared of myself and who I am.

Now is my time to shine.

Love,

Vikki xx

Morning gorgeous xx

How are you all today? Good I hope. Here’s to hoping life is treating you well and if it isn’t at this time, try to take comfort in the knowledge that the wheel of fortune will turn in your favour soon. All the dark days only serve to make out futures brighter – as long as we learn the lessons and open the doors we need to open. Life is all about choices, try and make the right one’s for you.

So, I need to keep this brief; if possible – This story is likely going to run over several posts. And there will be a delay in some of those posts appearing. The delay us due to the fact that this story is tinged with a great deal of sadness and I must request mine and my families privacy is respected over this, but there has been a loss. A great loss within the family and anyone following this blog will have an idea who that is. This is a time of great sadness, a time of finality, endings and closure.

But it is also a time of learning, of healing, change. And not all of that change is bad. Some of the lessons born out of this type of negativity can be seen a positive for the future. We all take away what we need to from this and we all mist use that to move forward in our own lives. Take away the positive memories and use those as a foundation to build something new.

And that’s why the title if this post is what it is. Because thats my lesson, that’s my building block, that’s what I was missing. I was missing my personality type. I didn’t know who I was, what I was.

I’ll explain more in another post, as now is not the time. There is much to do and much to learn, and new foundations need to be built. I’ll document all of this as this is what the blog is for. So over time you’ll see what is happening and what is mean to be.

But for now, please respect my privacy at this difficult time. I’ll be with you all soon and I’ll keep you up to date with the lessons & knowledge that I learn as I continue my journey to becoming the Alpha Female I should always have been.

God bless and much love,

Vikki xx

Evening gorgeous xx

How are you all this Evening? You all OK and ready for the weekend? Hope so. Hope your looking forward to a good one?

Anyway, let me describe my current situation to you before I get into the detail of this post. Currently; I’m sat in the waiting area of A&E (The Emergency Room for my American friends). The friend I am with has a suspected ectopic pregnancy and we’ve been waiting a half hour to be seen. Cracking isn’t it? Gotta love the NHS when it’s at breaking point. Its at times like these though, that I do think of the overworked and underpaid staff in an NHS hospital. Friday night’s are the worst and the busiest time for them; and I know as much as I could learn to do their job, am I capable of handling that type of pressure? And it is a lot of pressure…

But anyway, we’ve moved into an assessment room now and she’s done a test. Next up will be gyno and hopefully we can get her sorted out. Once that is done, I can go home and prepare for my trip home.

Yes, the trip home. Mum won’t be around much longer, she’s really not very well. I have to go up and see her as soon as, it is likely to be the last time I’ll see her alive. I pray she passes peacefully.

Right. Gotta sort this mess out and try and get some sleep. Got a long day ahead of me tomorrow…

Much love,

Vikki xx

As the title says, “Morning Gorgeous 😘 xx”. How are you all doing today? All good I hope? Life is treating you well? Hope so.

Anyway, I’m putting this post up as I need a bit of a kick up the backside, and something tells me that I’m about to get one.

You see, as I go through all of this; I’m learning a lot about myself and how other people see me. I’m also learning a lot about people in general. Almost like a kind of awakening. Growing up, so to speak. And I suppose that’s what is happening – I’m going through puberty for a second time. Hormonally, I’m a teenager all over again and the change in hormones has affected my mental state in some very strange ways – some good, some bad.

You see, I feel a shed load better about myself. I don’t have this burning desire to mount everything that moves and make babies with it but I see a sexual attraction in both men and women, and I appreciate that now. If someone looks attractive to me, I like to compliment them on it and I’m not afraid to do so anymore – but that’s all it is, there’s nothing behind it.

I don’t feel any raging anger in my head and I’m learning to deal with the root causes of some of that anger, as you can see from some of my recent posts. Yet that anger was so great at times that it immobilized me, and I’m still procrastinating – I’ll think nothing of spending 4 hours on the Xbox (do you know how long it took me to get out of that habit!).

But I’ve realised a few things as well. And I’m working on ways of dealing with them. Like self organisation, planning and motivation – all things I used to lack; I now want to learn.

I’m more confident, that’s a massive change. Confident in myself and because of that; I’m realising that I have more ability than I thought I had (maybe I am the genius people keep telling me I am after all 😂). I’m definitely more articulate than I thought I was as I wouldn’t be able to write this blog if I wasn’t.

So it’s things like that running through my head and finally changing the way I think. Which is something I’ve needed to do for a very long time.

The effects are far reaching though. I was texting my sister about something last night and I immediately realised I was being a dickhead (language Dorothy!) about it. I couldn’t call her to tell her but she soon got the message and called me up. First thing I said to her was that I was being an idiot, and I knew I was but I didn’t stop myself from typing it – I should have done. I know that previously I wouldn’t have even seen that I was stupid about it, I’d have just carried on and that’s quite a big change for me.

Ultimately, the changes that are taking place are positive, and are giving me focus. It’s just noting where that beam is being focussed and learning to control it. Anyone who is up for the challenge of helping me do that is quite welcome to do so. Because once I do that, the sky really should be the limit…

Much love,

Vikki xx