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Out with the old…

Vikki Kinsella Leave a comment

Morning Gorgeous xx

You all good today? Hope so. I know it’s Monday and all of that, everyone swimming their way back to work after torrential downpours here in the UK, lol. But it’s all good.

I’m in a bit of a funny place this morning. My head is clear (makes a change), I’m calm and I know what I’ve got to do today – This doesn’t happen often in my life. Need more of this 🙂

I feel like my head has had a busy night though, it’s flipping pounding in there. I’m like, WTF??? What just happened? If that was a dream, then ‘My God!’; what a dream! I look back down the hallway towards the bedroom thinking; “What happened in there?’. I mean I know I had a restless night, but WHAT!

The good thing about days like these, is these are the days when plans are formed. Days when I have to get up and do something, talk to someone, anything. Need the head busy. So that’s what I’m going to do today, got to get busy. But I need some help, not sure my head is organised enough to do this on my own.

Anyway; I woke up this morning, I went to the Bathroom, then the Kitchen, then here. That says a lot about what I’m going to do. You see the thing is, I’m not going to able to move on with my life until all this crap is out of my head. Which is what the blog is about, moving forward, transitioning, starting a new life, out with the old and in with the new. Well the next stage of my transition is definitely ‘out with the old’ – the floodgates are well and truly ‘Open’.

Facebook make a change tomorrow; they stop third party apps posting to personal profiles – only public pages. This is a world-wide change becuase of the recent data misuse scandals they’ve been embroiled in. I’ve already setup my public page and blogged about it, it’s ready to go. I’m going to invite people to like the page and it’s optional if you do or don’t – I won’t hold it against you if you dont, that’s not me; if you know me.

Still, my head sees August 1st as a kind of D-Day. It’s at that point that everything is setup where I need it to be and I’ve got complete freedom to just write what I want. Everything that’s in my head, I can get it down on paper. Finally. And whether you believe what I write, take it with a pinch of salt, or plain laugh at it; that’s not the point. The point is, I’ve been looking for a creative outlet for a long time now, a way to release this energy that’s built up inside of me.

I don’t have any of the music I used to write anymore (well, two tracks remain and I might add them later) – and I pains me that can’t do that anymore with my fingers the way they are. I’ve been frustrated for so, so long and it’s torn me apart. But I’m transitioning, and when you transition, everything changes; including you – especially you. You change into who you WANT to be, not who everyone expects you to be. I get a feeling I might be finding myself again, lets just hope I’m right…

Much Love,

 

Vikki xx

 

Hi Guys & Gals… xx

Vikki Kinsella Leave a comment

Morning Gorgeous 🙂 xx

How you all doing peeps? Surviving the typical english summer (or whatever the weather might be around the world)? Good, I hope so.

So this post is a little bit of a test; but also another chance for me to ask some questions – I like to communicate in both directions. What I’m doing, is moving the blog off my personal page on Facebook and onto a public one. This will give people in certain parts of my life a choice as to whether they read the posts or not. Turns out I offended some people recently and as much as I believe in what I’m writing, sometimes you have to take a step back and go in a slightly different direction. Well this is it.

If you’re on Twitter or Google Plus; etc. there is no change. On Facebook, this should be the first post on a new page; separate from my personal profile. A learning curve, all good.

Right. So, there’s a few things in my head that need to come out. And I want to write them down here, this is MY blog. A few people have tried suppress posts in the past, not having it. I may apologise publically if something offends you but this is my version of events, written under my rules. The only person I won’t say no to on here, is myself. Out in the real world; I need to learn to do that again anyway. So this is my safe space.

OK, so here’s the disclaimer…

IF ANYTHING I WRITE ON HERE FROM NOW ON OFFENDS ANYBODY I KNOW, OR USED TO KNOW. CONTACT ME PRIVATELY AND WE WILL SORT IT OUT. DO NOT POST PUBLICALLY WITHOUT CONTACTING ME FIRST.

A darling member of my family recently made such a mistake and embarrassed not only me, but herself as well. AND caused issues in the family. All they had to do was call me; something I’d been waiting for; for months, anyway and we could have sorted it out. If you were hurt by what I said Kid, so was I. Pointless.

So anyway, fresh start for the Facebook side of things, onward and upward for the rest. Here’s to a brighter future; whatever that may entail.

Much Love,

 

Vikki xx

A Quick Note…

Vikki Kinsella Leave a comment

Morning Gorgeous xx

How are you all my lovelies, hope you’re all OK. Good. 🙂

As the title says, this is a quick note. A very quick note. Did you even think it was possible for me to write a quick note??? Shhhh, don’t tell anyone; but it is…

I know that these posts go out across the internet, and they go out in various ways; Facebook, Twitter, Google+, etc. I have a little bit of an audience, and I thank you all for reading. I hope you like what I write and I do read and mod all the comments that come into the blog from you guys & gals. I will, however, only ever permanently release the verifiable ones (I check the spam folder often too). Hence why there’s not very many comments kicking around.

But that’s not the point, the point is; I’m going to lose some of my audience and I want people to know this – I’m not a self-obsessed freak; as some of the spam comments have mentioned and I want to advise you that posts are going to disappear from certain sites. (Facebook in particular). The reason for this is beyond my control, but this change has come at a good time. Whether I wanted to do it or not, it’s for the best.

So, if you read this via my Personal Profile on Facebook; this is the probably the last post you will see. If you don’t want to see this anymore (and I fully understand if you don’t), DON’T DO ANYTHING – I don’t want you to.

BUT. If you are reading this that way, and you do want to carry on reading; look for the link to the public page that I will put up next. All new posts from now on will appear on there.

Right, well; I’ve got some work to do sorting this out…

Much Love,

 

Vikki xx

First steps…

Vikki Kinsella 1 Comment

Afternoon my lovelies xx

How are you all today? Good I hope. I can finally say that I’m starting to feel that way – for the first time in a very long time.

So, as you can see; it’s been quite an incredible two weeks. In fact, its been an incredible two years. Since I discovered I was autistic, I have travelled a very long and difficult road. A road which has eventually led me to today.

Today is a significant day; as it’s the day many people in the past have told me to aim for. So many people before today have told me to do this and I’ve always found an excuse, but no more. No more excuses, no more avoidance tactics, no more “I can’t”; for whatever reason.

Today; I can, I will and I did.

I reported the crime to the police. Finally, reported it to the police and asked for something to be done about it. I feel like a massive; massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders. And I feel good.

The police have accepted it and I’ve given an initial statement. And they’ve passed it on to the governing force for the school I was at. Time will tell.

But it’s not about that for me anymore. You see now I can breathe again, I can start to live again and finally begin to repair the damage that has been done.

The perpetrators, I don’t care about. I suspect the police will; but that’s not my prime concern. I know they did what they did and it hurts immensely, but it’s time to forgive and forget. A childish prank that went too far.

The school, now that’s a completely different ballgame. They had a duty of care to ensure I was safe and protected; and they failed in that. They failed to the extreme if covering up the incident from my parents and removing the bullies. Ensuring that the whole arena looked like nothing ever happened.

Well it did. And I’m alive to tell the tale. And now it’s been told. And the process of justice for the cover up begins…

Much love,

Vikki xx

Apologies

Vikki Kinsella Leave a comment

Good morning All… xx

It has transpired that my last post has been seen as very insensitive to certain situations which are happening in my life and those of people around me. Because of that; actions have been taken and conversations have been held that should never have happened. This has been detrimental and caused issues within my family, something which; and please believe me when I say, I had wished to avoid. To all my frien

I owe members of my family an apology and the best place for that to happen would be in the same forum as the original post, here. And I do so now; I apologise, unreservedly.

Without wanting to cause further trauma, I would to take a short opportunity to explain myself – and it will be brief. There are issues going on in my life which are long-term, I am working through these issues in order to create a brighter future. I am receiving help, professional help, to deal with them. There is never going to be a right time for certain events to happen; but there will also never be a wrong time – Issues are raised when they are raised and its about dealing with them as soon as possible. The reason for that is I have to deal with it before the next one comes out, and there is a queue.

Writing a post like the last one is a very emotional experience and care can be lost when such an issue is committed to paper. I will try, in future, to take more care of what I post; before I post.

To those members of my family who were upset by the last post. I am sorry, please believe me 😦

Much Love,

 

Vikki xx