Life Lessons

Bitchmouth – The explaination

Morning gorgeous xx

As you all can see, I’ve had a bit of a rough ride of it recently. And some of it is not without good reason – Because some of my actions have an equal and opposite reaction. So of those reactions are justifiably deserved. I get that. Karma is life’s teacher and she works in mysterious ways. Some of those reactions are over the top though, and call into question the maturity of those who perform them.

You see, I’m Autistic. I miss social cues, I don’t see the world as others do. It’s a problem for me as it can put me in situations where I can be seen to be perceived as “two faced” – having two differing opinions on similar subjects. One rule for One, that kind if thing. And as humans, we can be like that.

And yesterday made me realise that.

You see, yesterday I posted a comment in a group on social media. The group was called Bitchmouth; which is a place where women are allowed to speak their minds in relative safety – And there are rules.

One of those rules is regarding derogatory comments. And anyone who knows (And has been on the receiving end) of women being bitchy will know that that rule itself is a double edged sword.

So the exact wording of my post; which was related to a certain celebrity not receiving the same punishment as befits the crime, was as follows…

“Maybe he should have spent six weeks in prison and received anal.”

Now that’s close to the bone. VERY close. But not close enough to be explicit in its intent. It’s up to you how you interpret that comment. As nowhere in that comment is a derogatory term used.

So I know what you’re thinking right now, and this is where the maturity test comes in. Was I suggesting he received Anal unwillingly? Social cues will tell you that I did. And if you’re not mature enough to question that; then your mind will trigger.

For most of you it’s probably already gone, and I know where it’s gone. And you’ve already formed an opinion and come to a conclusion. If you haven’t, you’re mature enough to understand what I’m about to say.

Having been through that myself, I’m aware it’s no laughing matter. For a woman, it can be life changing. Someone, usually a man, has taken control of her body and used it without her consent. Its your body, not theirs, they have NO right to do that; none. Its a trigger. And as a man, I also know what that feels like – see the post entitled “The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Had To Write” – and it happens more and more often.

But I’m going to flip the coin now. You see, I’ve read (and copied before there’s any argument) the group’s rules. And THIS is where the immaturity strikes. It doesn’t say in those rules that I couldn’t post what I did. It mentions derogatory commemts; but it doesn’t mention a certain word which is extremely important in the events that followed.

So much so that word quickly became the reason for my exit – before they banned me (although they’ll have you think I was banned). I wasn’t girls – I left before the admins came down and I won’t be going back, I know my place and it’s not within that group.

As any solicitor will tell you; if you’re making a ruling on something and there are explicit triggers for that rule, you have to mention them as part of the rule. Otherwise they don’t count and you can’t use them.

And this is where the immaturity of the group came to light. If a subject matter is that important to the group as to provoke that kind of reaction. You’d better explicitly comment in your rules that you can’t be derogatory towards it. Otherwise, it’s open to abuse.

Lesson learnt girls.

Vikki xx

By Vikki Kinsella

My name is Vikki, and I’m a Transgender Female living and working in the UK.

I’ve started this blog purely as a way of writing down my thoughts and feelings, as I now start my journey through transition from living life as Male to becoming Female, and beyond. You see, I spent 45 years of my life living as, what is now known as, a cisgender Male - With almost no idea that I could even consider being Female, let alone consider corrective surgery. But I must admit I did have a tendency to THINK like a woman sometimes... But doesn't every Man think like a woman on occasion? Don't try and hide it boys, you know you do, lol...

5 replies on “Bitchmouth – The explaination”

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