Evening gorgeous XX
How are you all today? I hope you’re all good and you’re having fun. That’s all I ever wanted out of life and in the main, that’s what I’ve finally got. So I do hope that, one day, your dreams come true for you too. As I feel they’re starting to for me.
However (and, I hear you cry, “there’s always a negative!”) – there is a negative. A negative I’ve known but never really seen before. A negative that has existed for many years but has been hiding, masquerading as something else, cloaked behind a veil.
I will not comment here on what this is; because, for me, it’s the end of one journey and the beginning of another. It’s the reason I started this blog, to work out who I am and what was wrong, and I’ve done both now. Now I know the truth. The truth about myself and the truth of who I am.
I’m going to resolve this. As it’s the reason for my ongoing depression. And it’s also baggage from the old that I can never take into the new. This issue has no place in the new life I am building for myself, yet it was a part of the old that, in a way, made sense for it to be there. It fitted in, and was excuseable. Passable, almost; as it could be passed off as something else.
It’s exposed itself because; in my new life, it is so completely out of character it is almost, bar a few legitimate exceptions, unbelievable.
But it’s true. It’s true because I am one of those exceptions – I haven’t dealt with it.
Well now I must. I have no choice. I must confront myself and deal with this issue. Alone, somewhat. As I have some really good friends but I’m not sure if they’d understand. I may be wrong, but they certainly can’t help me, beyond being there when I need them – which they already do.
Once I’ve started to work on this one, final, issue. This blog, and its counterpart, will go quiet – for a very long time. It’s going to take a while to resolve this, and I can’t write about it; So I wont. However, once I resolve this, my transition will be complete and everything after that will be a formality.
This is the point I’ve been trying to get to all my life.
Much Love,
Vikki xx
Feeling Trans 