Good afternoon people. How are we all today? Hope we’re good and surviving well. I only wish the best for everybody and come what may, understand that the wheel of fortune will always turn in your favour eventually. It must, it’s Karma…

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Which is the subject of this flipping post. This is not a 4am musing, as is usual for me, this a 2pm “What the actual fuck just happened, and why did it have to happen that way? – f’kin why me?!”. And it is. Why me? What in mother natures name of earth made the universe think that those events, happening in that sequence, would be right for me? What do I need to learn that means I’ve got to go through that? Especially when it’s pretty damn obvious that I’m going to see the events in the way that I do?…

Trust me. Head wrecker. My brain feels like a fried egg in a pan – Are we going over-easy or sunny side up? Being honest, I prefer my eggs sunny-side up and runny. So I can pop my chips or my toast in it. And they are awesome on a Bacon & Egg sandwich. Nom, nom.

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So, look. Let keep it short & sweet and give you a brief outline. Please note that the situation I’m about to describe happens to me a lot; in both directions. There are times when I end up looking over my glasses, from side to side and thinking… What the f… just happened.

Right. So, things haven’t been going OK. I missed my pre-surgical appointments in February (details in a later post). Really miffed about it. Didn’t expect any contact from the clinic for about a year – Remember, Covid has really played havoc with peoples timescales. So I decided, “Learn to live with what you’ve got, get on with it”. Had no choice, really. Not expecting my bottom surgery now until 2024/25. We’re only in 2022. Peeved is not the word but it is what it is. Best thing to do? Go f*** your way through a website, get it out of your system.

So I did. I’ll explain which website and why later, but it was a good move. To a point…

Last weekend comes around, I’m arranging a social. Someone’s interested, bring it on. Life is about having fun. However, there’s a complication. Things are not… Obvious. And it turns out this complication was, in fact, a roadblock. Much more of a hurdle to be managed than I thought. But thankfully one that has been dealt with (Am I being cryptic, of course I am; There’s information you need to know and I have no intention of typing it here, later darling!). This hurdle, having turned into a roadblock, meant I had to use my assertive traits, to deal with the issue at hand and find a way through it, or around it.

It hurt, a lot. I really don’t like using my assertive traits to tell people off that I’ve only just met – I’m really not that type of person. And by doing so, I felt pain in my heart and I cried. I even wondered if there was a way of ending my life; because I couldn’t deal with the emotional roller coaster I’d been sent on. And the root cause of that roller coaster, was the the most shocking part about it. I really couldn’t understand what the feck had happened and had no point of reference, in order to gain a foothold and deal with it. What happened, was the last thing I expected to happen – Never in a month of Sundays…

Result? – My head, Monday night, was fried. Like an egg on a bacon sandwich.

Tuesday evening, with a little bit of help, I managed to sort the issue to a point where I could be happy again. And move on from it. But it wasn’t easy though, nearly cost me a close friend. I am not letting that happen again. Feck that. My friend did not deserve to have to deal with me in that state, and I don’t feel it fair that she did. We have talked about it and we are all good. Thankfully.

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Fast forward to today, Wednesday. Less than 48 hours since flipping my nut and wanting to end it all. And a phone call arrives. From a number I don’t recognise. I’m like… Who’s this? I’m done with work, so it can’t be that shite. I’m not expecting a call. I just want to get in my studio and write some music today, finally…

Turns out to be the clinic, yeah, that’s leftfield. They have news. Good news – The game is back on. My pre-surgical appointments are being booked. February was not the total flipping disaster that I thought it was after all, but it generated a fire-break. And when are these appointments? Six weeks away… What the actual? That’s the news I’ve been waiting for, for over nine months! I want these appointments because I want this surgery, it’s life changing stuff… Where did that come from? The game is well and truly, on. Gonna get rid of that thing swinging between my flipping legs, after all. Finally. And I’m bouncing off the goddam ceiling…

Now, I did say this was a WTF post? Didn’t I? It’s called Karmic Balance for a reason…

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But then that’s what went through my head – The good must always balance out the bad. We have to achieve a level playing field. Yin must always counter Yang. The forces of nature will always strive for balance and harmony. It is what must be. Either that, or my name is Amber Heard (You heard it here first, folks)…

And it is. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. What goes up must come down. There must always be a negative to attract a positive. One and One must always make Two. My only question, is why does it have to be so god damn obvious with me? Why do I have to be the one that sees the Yin and the Yang for what they are, in the raw. Why must I be 0.5? What the f*****g hell was I put on this godforsaken ball of rock for? Does my life really have to be like this? Is there no way I can change it? (See the post on Deja Vu, if I’ve written it, for the answer to that one)

Look at this way (And I’ll go into more detail later) – Sexually, I’m a Bisexual Trans Switch. If there is anybody in the middle of the sexes, it’s me. But I do not describe myself as non-binary. Why? Because as Human beings, I believe, we are binary – There has to be a 0 and a 1; but who said there can’t be a 0.5, it’s in the middle of the two after all…

Yeah, my head hurts as well. Go get some sleep, I need another Gin…

Much Love,

Vikki xx

Morning Gorgeous xx

Hope you’re all OK and staying safe. Times are troubled, life is changing and we all have reason to worry about something. For some it’s greater than others; but all our worries are valid nonetheless. Take comfort in the knowledge that everything changes, that’s the purpose of time. Believe in that, if nothing else.

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Right, that was a quick into for me that. I’m normally blabbering on about everything, as I usually do. It’s my trademark. It’s how I write. it’s WHAT I write. It will be my legacy – This blog and everything in it. But I don’t treat it like a blog, I treat it like a diary. These are the thoughts that run around in my head at 3am, and they have to come out. We’re all like this; it’s human nature. And to do what I’m doing is the ultimate expression of the man / machine interface. What’s in my head, is on this page, and you need a machine to read it. How mad is that?

Anyway. As with all of these posts; there is a raison d’etre for their existence. Bearing in mind the fact that it actually bloody kills me to write these things, there has to be a reason (I wouldn’t write them otherwise – Next post, I’ll talk about my hand; that HAS to come out). And there is a reason for this one. The title, yet again, says it all. It’s about how and why people lie, because everybody does – Including me! I’m no exception, I’ve told lies; half truths, expanded on the truth to make a point. We all do it. As is mentioned in the Bible; “let he who hath never sinned cast the first stone” and Lying is a Sin – There, there is my Catholic background right there for you. You want to know Vikki? There she is. In all her glory (Yeah right).

But it’s right though. Everybody. EVERY BODY. Has told a lie at some point; for whatever the reason. Doesn’t matter how big or how small it was; you’ve done it. You might have to put some thought into remembering it; to realise that I’m right, but you’ve done it. It’s the human condition. It’s consciousness. We all have those moments where we talk about something, but our memory lets us down; so we fill in the blanks. It’s the Quantum Phenomenon of consciousness itself – There is no Yes / No, there’s always a Maybe. Always.

What really does the damage though, in human society, is those people who exert that third option for their own gratification. Their the real liars. They’re the people who will make you believe a situation to be truthful, in order for you to follow a train of thought; to a conclusion that did not happen (or is not real). They Lie. They want you to believe something in order for you to follow their train of thought, and, ultimately, reject everything other than their constructed reality. In order for you to act upon that information in a predetermined way

Religion is the biggest Lie of all, let’s be honest about this. Their all based on teachings from a book, that book was written by somebody, and that someone did not remember everything that happened in exact detail (or none of it was true in the first place – But that’s unlikely, as there is a a grain of truth in every story). It’s how the human mind works. We don’t just make things up; we use what we know in order to construct a reality and we then use that reality to write a story; every author does it, including me right now. You wouldn’t be reading this otherwise; be honest.

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But I don’t want you to believe what I say, not every author does. I don’t want you to read this and take it as gospel; because it’s not. I’m not writing the Bible Version 2.0! Fuck that! What! Get over it. No. These are my thoughts, from my head, based on occurrences that are happening in my life; right now. My mind is telling me to write this down, and my body picked up my laptop and wrote it. Most of it Automatically, I ain’t gonna remember writing this at 9am tomorrow morning! And I’m not gonna flipping care either – I’ll just ask people to read it and see what they think; most say it’s world-class, others have a different opinion; and you’re all entitled to that opinion. But most of all, enjoy. It’s written for your entertainment, not mine; most of these posts are written as I’m crying into glass of wine. Yeah, for real; contact me if you need proof…

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But look, what’s brought this on tonight? Why are you feeling so much pain that you’ve got to write it down? – Well, I can’t give you the details of that, sorry. That wouldn’t be fair on the individuals involved (See Toiletgate if you want an idea of why I do things this way). It’s not fair on other people, this is not other peoples work. This is my work, this is my life, these are my thoughts and memories; shared just for you. Because I HAVE to write these things down. Somehow. I’d be dead if I didn’t; you have my word on that.

What I can say, is, that there is a situation that has destroyed me and my life. It’s been going on for over 30 years and it’s a core problem that I have to deal with; but I can never resolve – Because it’s not my problem, so I can’t resolve it. The person who’s problem it is, has a problem with me because of WHO I am. And they’ve seen me as an easy target because of WHAT I am. And they’ve taken steps to destroy me because of jealousy on both of those parts. I’m not jealous of them, and I didn’t start this. I also didn’t want this and I sure as hell don’t fucking need the shit that comes with it. For fucks sake, no.

But. The person who’s problem it is believes their own lies to a point where they can only ever see what’s in the mirror. They can’t see the truth, and probably never will. It may also be that they constructed a reality, at the expense of other people, in order for a perception to be bought by others. Why would it not be the case? Most lies are told for a reason – We don’t just lie because we can, unless we’re so far deep in our own fucking web that we can’t see daylight (and god love the person who’s down there, I have the utmost sympathy for them). There is ALWAYS a reason. Every liar has something to hide. Whether it be their own mistake, whether it be the fact that they can’t remember the truth, or, whether it be a deliberate and intentional lie in order to construct a different reality that what was actually true – Either way, there’s a fucking reason for it.

And am I using strong language again? You know when I use that kind of language; that the issue at hand is close to my heart – The stronger I feel, the stronger the language I use. I do apologise, if I have offended; it’s not intentional, I assure you.

However, if you feel someone is lying to you, get to the bottom of that reason. Do not allow people to lie to you, or for you, or (most definitely) against you. Webs of lies… Rhetoric. They do nothing but cause harm. Boris? Hmmm…

Rhetoric. There’s a word. Never believe someone’s Rhetoric. And I can only give my deepest sympathies to those that do.

Love and Light,

Vikki xx

Morning Gorgeous 🙂 xx

How are we all on this fine day of ours? Hope everyone is good and you’re all staying safe as can be in these chaotic times of ours. For those of us, like myself, fortunate enough not to be in too much difficulty right now, never forget that there are those who are not having it so good and try to help where you can; should resources allow. And for those of us not so fortunate, try to take comfort in the belief that change is the only constant and there are people, like me, who are either working or praying for things to get better for you – You are not alone, even if you believe that you are.

Right, on to the title of the post. The Brain Fart. What exactly am I talking about? We know you’re a little bit strange, Vikki, but come on; what are you talking about? (So many times that was said to me when I was younger, lol). Let me tell you. I’ve been “Blue Sky” thinking again. Allowing my mind to wander free and trying to quantify abstract concepts, in order to try to make better sense of my own, and others, existence – While avoiding existential dread and compound negativity. In other words, I’ve been on one and had a Brain Fart.

Now I have these Brain Farts from time to time, and have done for as long as I can remember – I’ve always wondered what more to life there is, than just the mundane. I wanted to be an Astronaut when I was a kid; for example. I had my bedroom painted like a space scene, only to scare myself silly and end up not being able to sleep in there. But it never stopped me wondering. I always tried to think outside the box, believing that the box never existed in the first place (Never mind Schrodingers Cat! lol); only to find myself in a society that was ruled by the box and that I must find a way of fitting myself within it. Can you not tell that my childhood was really difficult, in a first-world problem kind of way?

In a world of Zero’s and One’s, I was always 0.5.

And I suppose that’s the reason why I’m Trans. I see myself as both Male, and Female – Like a Diesel engine that was sold with a tank full of Petrol; it’ll run, but it’ll never run right until you put Diesel in it.

And here’s the thing, when I was living as a Man, I always thought this way but was scared to show it because I knew, from experience, that I’d be ridiculed for it. Example, It was expected that I would go into construction by my family; I am sorry, I work in an office – Oops. But I can’t change the way that I thought; you can’t put spark plugs in a Diesel engine and expect it to run on Petrol, you gotta change the Cam, the pistons, the fuel management and filters – Kinda like how some people Transition, it’ll always be a Diesel engine though and it won’t run properly until you put Diesel in it.

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But I’m digressing here from the original Brain Fart. The original smell from the fart involved the basic principal of Male and Female, Zero and One, Order and Chaos; Relative and Quantum theory… Now you’re asking just what exactly were you taking last night?? And would it be worth me taking some? lol. Seriously, nothing. I was as Jober as a Sudge all night. I was working on a project for something which should come to fruition in the next few weeks, hopefully (more later). And when I finished that, I was watching TV to relax before sleep. And it was the TV program I was watching, that really blew my mind; good old Morgan Freeman going through a Wormhole and asking loads of questions but never giving any real answers, just updating bits of our knowledge.

And therein in the problem, in order to achieve balance… A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. But so can too much. It’s a fecker that, isn’t it? But that’s part of the problem. Where do you draw the line? What is the right amount? Of anything. Not just knowledge. Of information, of humanity, of life, of sex, of people… Where the fuck do you stop?

And what the hell has all of that crap got to do with you being 0.5 in a world of 0’s and 1’s? Again, here we are, loads of questions and no bloody answers. Welcome to Vikki’s world, dear reader, sit down and get comfortable; it’s a bit strange in here.

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On that note, I went to sleep. My brain stopped resonating and shut down, thank god, I was knackered. But it didn’t stop there. (Why me?) And I woke up this morning with exactly the same information and thoughts in my head, only my mind had applied them to scenarios I hadn’t even began to think of the night before. What if Randomness and Order are the only constants, and everything else is left up to chance? What if you then apply that to Quantum Theory? Would everything be chaotic until it is observed, at which point it would take on an ordered state? How does that equate to the position of the observer? Then the triggers set in.

Do you all remember a post I wrote not so long back? “The Binary Model”? If not, you can it here. It’s interesting reading, and it applies the philosophy that sex and gender are on a spectrum, that there are endpoints to that spectrum and that those endpoints can be clearly defined. It’s a damned good read.

Well I woke up this morning with an advance of that theory, a Quantum leap, in fact. Yet the advance is as chaotic, as the theory itself creates order from that chaos. Am I losing my mind? I wish. No, I’m just trying to make sense of a large amount of information; with a little bit of information, in order to stop the resonance… I woke up this morning wondering, what if everything was in fact non-binary; but we as humans are applying a Binary Model to it because of our perspective as a Mammalian species? Why the fuck should a Binary model exist in the fucking first place?

God that was deep for 8am on a Tuesday morning… lol

But seriously, I did manage to answer my question. And I was surprised that I could. What was even more surprising, was that the answer came from itself – From creating order out of chaos, from the fact that I could also create chaos from order. Woah… Didn’t think of that one.

But it’s true. if Chaos is 0, Order is 1. 0 and 1 are constants, everything in between is chaotic and free to move as it sees fit. But you cannot have 0 or 1, without everything in between. All you can do, is ignore that which has greater randomness than is desired to create the ordered path you seek. However. Nothing lasts forever, as the third constant is time and that will only ever move in one direction; as it’s function is to create order from chaos and chaos from order. Time is the only true constant and must be adhered to without question, time will protect itself by creating order and chaos as it see’s fit. Trying to create a paradox in time will only result in the opposite state at the destination of the paradox. The surrounding entities that are not part of the paradoxical event will limit the effect of the paradox within the definition of the destinations state. The observer attempting to create the paradox will never be allowed to know the result of the paradox because in order to attempt to create the paradox, the observer must have first moved through time.

Deep shit.

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But what the fuck has all this got to do with Feeling Trans?

Easy, I’m the 0.5. I’m the chaos, I’m the agent for change. I’ve always known that. Someone said to me recently, in a conversation had nothing to do with it; “I won’t let you change me” – What the fuck? Where did that come from? The context of the conversation had nothing to do with that, and I was taken aback by the fact that the person said it to me. My answer was; “I’m not trying to change you”, because I wasn’t – That was the last thing that I intended to do. So why the fuck did they say that to me, right out of the blue. From nowhere.

Partly because all my life I’ve been at the epicentre of change, whether that be on a large scale or a small one. I always end up changing something about someone else’s life, yet all I’m trying to do is achieve a balance, constant and order in mine. I believe that there had to be a balance for everything. To create order from chaos you have to achieve balance. And I go around helping other people achieve that, at great expense to myself sometimes. My life has been one of enduring pain for many, many different reasons; and not all of them can be blamed on me – Regardless of what people would say, if questioned about them. That’s because they are the observer in the quantum scenarios and their order and chaos is different to mine. It’s a matter of perspective, which is the downfall of Quantum theory in relation to Chaos theory; yes, the two are different. They have to be.

Just like Male and Female are different, and we must accept that. Sex and Gender are different, and we must accept that also. But you cannot cross one with the other, to do so would be a misnomer. A mistake. For you are triyng to integrate two chaotically different spectrums with the intent of defining order. You can’t do that. You’ll create a Quantum paradox and the surrounding elements will close in to alleviate that paradox by returning to order over a period of time.

So you can be both Male and Female, and you can choose what you want to be observed as. But you cannot change sex once it has been determined and you must accept that in order to integrate into the life around you. And if you cannot do that, then you must be prepared to leave that life and move on. There is no other choice. And if you are not prepared to make that choice yourself, time will eventually make that choice for you.

Just like it did to me, Five years ago.

Much love,

Vikki xx

Morning Gorgeous 🙂 xx

And how are we all today, all Thirteen Bloody Hundred of you! Where the hell did you all come from? I’ll be honest, right, shooting from the hip as I always do… I never, NEVER, expected this blog to be a success. I just didn’t. It was never written for that. It was written to help me. To move me forward. To assist in my change from the person I was, to the person I was becoming. Much like most people have a diary next to their bed, this is mine. All those thoughts that I couldn’t control and had no use for, they go down here.

It turns out, that in the last four years, 10,000 of you have seen these pages. And 1300 of you have been waiting for me write more. I can’t thank you all enough for you patience, please believe me when I tell you; it’s not easy to write this stuff – I have to go through some really serious shit before I write it down.

It’s also worthy of note that there are 102 unfinished posts behind this one, that have got to come out (And they will, I assure you). But at the time, there was something stopping me finishing them. Something that meant I couldn’t complete them; because my mind would be taken away by a feeling that I couldn’t control & couldn’t understand. Therefore I couldn’t get over it and move forward, and finish what I was writing.

There’s a name for it, it’s called writers block. But it’s such a simple term for such a complex emotion, that it belies just how difficult it can be to resolve and move on from it. But I can tell you, with honesty now. It’s not there anymore; it’s gone. And THIS, that I am about to tell you, is the reason why. THIS, the title of the post, was my block. And fuck me was it a painful one to deal with.

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Rejection. Such a simple term. So easy to say off hand, and so easy to dismiss. “Get over it”, Deal with it”, “Move on, what’s your problem?”, “Why are you so upset? Did you not expect that?” – These are all terms which have been said to me a lot in the past four years. And they’re all negative. They’ve all been said by people who were present in a given situation, but not at the centre; so therefore, the outcome wasn’t important to them. The people saying these things were all able to walk away from the situation relatively unharmed by it and, with a few good nights sleep, probably wouldn’t think twice about it.

But what do you do if you are at the centre of the situation? You’re the one that took the bullet. You’re the one that’s actually go to do deal with the fallout from that situation, and learn to heal – You’re the one that’s got to “Get over it”? How do you deal with the hurt and the pain of losing something, knowing it’s importance in your life and knowing it’s never going to come back or be the same? What does your mind go through in order to resolve that issue? I’ll tell you. You do it like I did, and you walk away; silently You don’t show the pain. You go home and you cry yourself to sleep, every night until the pain has gone. You allow your mind to rest. Because it’s going to need that rest to face the challenges that lie ahead.

So, what brought this on? Why such a deep conversation at four in the morning? Well, because I can, lol – That’s how I write this blog, lol. Because all my posts were written at 4 o’clock in the morning. It’s my favourite time for writing. Lol. It really is, works so well for me – The peace, the quiet, the birds singing as the sun comes up. Love it.

No, I’ll be honest with you, it’s more serious than that. I write at this time in a morning because that’s when I’m best able to gather my thoughts. It’s when I really work my magic. But why call this post “Rejection – In all it’s forms”? I hear you ask.

Well, because, rejection by own family and most of my long-term (20+ years) friends; has been the cause of why I’ve not been able to write much over the last four years. The people who I thought would be able to help me when I needed it, rejected me. They said no. They pushed me away. They left me to deal with a situation that I didn’t know how to deal with, on my own. And these are the people that you think you can rely on. Your family and friends…

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Now I’m a family orientated person. I will always give back as much as I receive. I will help fucking anybody, if they need it and I can help – Even if it’s just a listening ear and cup of tea (NATO Standard, please. Two Sugars). But all I ask in return is for people to treat me as I treat them. And if I ask for help, it’s because I’m struggling. And it might just be that cup of tea with two sugars and an ear that will listen to my blurb. (and it is blurb sometimes, and it can take me a while to get to the point; I do apologise for being my autistic self). Sometimes that’s all you fucking need.

But the shit that the people I think of as family, have put me through in the last four years, beggars belief. I returned home to save my fucking life – I had death threats through my letterbox, my car was broken into and my laptop stolen, my car was involved in some questionable “accidents”, people attempted to break into my house and I’ve had the taunts, slander and fights in the street during the day. And the only reason I can equate for all of this, is because I transitioned so fucking well; and found ways of dealing with the effects of that, that it made people jealous. I asserted my independence and my rights as a human being, and I learnt the fucking hard way what that actually meant.

So to be told that there’s nothing for you in your home town, when you need to go back to your roots. To be told the people who you love the most can’t understand you and fear you. And to be rejected by the people who you thought were your friends, because they’ve reached conclusions about you that are not true; based on lies they’ve been told. That’s fucking rejection 101, right there. That’s life changing.

The worst one. The one that really hit the jugular, was that no one in my own family had the bollocks to find me, ring me up and tell me my own father had passed away. Or even when his funeral was. How cruel is that? And do you know why it was done? Because I’d had a argument with my mother four years previous; over my son. Who wasn’t even born at the time. Any they weren’t even there when both my ex partner (with my unborn son) and my mother forced me to choose between the two of them. A bit fucking rude, don’t you think? Makes you wonder what their reality of me actually was, clearly it wasn’t what I thought it was.

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What I’ve noticed though, having been on this journey through Dante’s Inferno, is that I’m not the only one of my kind that goes through it. We all do. I haven’t met a Trans person yet that hasn’t been on this journey – Especially those that transition after puberty, or after coming of age. They seem to have it the hardest. Transition when you’re a kid, it’s infantilised; “Aww, they’ll grow out of it”, and when they don’t it’s accepted as they’ve come of age in their own way. Transition when you’re an adult, and by the Christ is it demonised; “What the fuck are you doing?”, is the usual term.

So let me ask a question before I close; What the fuck is the reason for it? I’m sorry we didn’t turn out to be the people you expected us to be; but it’s clear you’re not the people who we expected you to be either. Swings and fucking roundabouts mate, it’s a two way street. You’re asking us to deal with it, you fucking deal with it. And if rejection is your way of dealing with it, don’t put that shit on us – That’s yours, not ours.

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I fully understand Gay and LGBTQ pride now, I see where it comes from and what is behind it. The hurt, the pain, the anger all being turned around and pushed out as what you believe to be a positive emotion. It all makes perfect sense. But there’s a problem. And I’m fairly unique in my ability to see it; at least from the feedback that I get, I’m led to believe that. And that is that Pride is the wrong emotional channel for this energy. Pride can be abused, pride comes before a fall.

I grew up with LGBT Pride, it’s in my family. I was brought up to be proud of who I am. And I was different. But my life fell apart in my late twenties and it was because of that pride – I thought I mattered and I was going places. I was proud of who I was, the family I had, the life I had, of who I’d become. And I had reason to feel that way. But those feelings are transient, Pride itself is a transient emotion and can’t be relied upon. It will always come before a fall.

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So, to finalise, what should replace it? How should you feel when you come out the other side and you build your new foundation from the ashes of Dante’s Inferno (Yes, that’s what it’s really like; read it). What should that be?

I’ll tell you. You should be confident. Confident in your abilities, confident in your own skin, confident of who you are. And know that you matter to yourself. Know that you can win, that you can survive, that you do have a place in the world – But NEVER equate that with Pride. Pride is different, pride is a negative emotional state. Pride does not allow for fluid, dynamic, change.

Feeling confident in yourself and your ability to adapt to change. That’s what matters, that’s what keeps thinks alive and that’s what destroys negativity. Listen to the words of other people, understand them (or try to), take them on board. Store them. But don’t live by it – Let it go when it’s not necessary to keep it, you don’t need to. Evolve. Never stop moving forward, even if you can’t always see the direction you’re travelling in. There will always been signs that a cliff is coming. And even if you drive off the edge of that cliff, be confident in your ability to drive and you’ll always survive the landing. Have confidence in yourself and you will always come out the other side.

Just like I have.

Much love,

Vikki xx