Morning gorgeous xx

As you all can see, I’ve had a bit of a rough ride of it recently. And some of it is not without good reason – Because some of my actions have an equal and opposite reaction. So of those reactions are justifiably deserved. I get that. Karma is life’s teacher and she works in mysterious ways. Some of those reactions are over the top though, and call into question the maturity of those who perform them.

You see, I’m Autistic. I miss social cues, I don’t see the world as others do. It’s a problem for me as it can put me in situations where I can be seen to be perceived as “two faced” – having two differing opinions on similar subjects. One rule for One, that kind if thing. And as humans, we can be like that.

And yesterday made me realise that.

You see, yesterday I posted a comment in a group on social media. The group was called Bitchmouth; which is a place where women are allowed to speak their minds in relative safety – And there are rules.

One of those rules is regarding derogatory comments. And anyone who knows (And has been on the receiving end) of women being bitchy will know that that rule itself is a double edged sword.

So the exact wording of my post; which was related to a certain celebrity not receiving the same punishment as befits the crime, was as follows…

“Maybe he should have spent six weeks in prison and received anal.”

Now that’s close to the bone. VERY close. But not close enough to be explicit in its intent. It’s up to you how you interpret that comment. As nowhere in that comment is a derogatory term used.

So I know what you’re thinking right now, and this is where the maturity test comes in. Was I suggesting he received Anal unwillingly? Social cues will tell you that I did. And if you’re not mature enough to question that; then your mind will trigger.

For most of you it’s probably already gone, and I know where it’s gone. And you’ve already formed an opinion and come to a conclusion. If you haven’t, you’re mature enough to understand what I’m about to say.

Having been through that myself, I’m aware it’s no laughing matter. For a woman, it can be life changing. Someone, usually a man, has taken control of her body and used it without her consent. Its your body, not theirs, they have NO right to do that; none. Its a trigger. And as a man, I also know what that feels like – see the post entitled “The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Had To Write” – and it happens more and more often.

But I’m going to flip the coin now. You see, I’ve read (and copied before there’s any argument) the group’s rules. And THIS is where the immaturity strikes. It doesn’t say in those rules that I couldn’t post what I did. It mentions derogatory commemts; but it doesn’t mention a certain word which is extremely important in the events that followed.

So much so that word quickly became the reason for my exit – before they banned me (although they’ll have you think I was banned). I wasn’t girls – I left before the admins came down and I won’t be going back, I know my place and it’s not within that group.

As any solicitor will tell you; if you’re making a ruling on something and there are explicit triggers for that rule, you have to mention them as part of the rule. Otherwise they don’t count and you can’t use them.

And this is where the immaturity of the group came to light. If a subject matter is that important to the group as to provoke that kind of reaction. You’d better explicitly comment in your rules that you can’t be derogatory towards it. Otherwise, it’s open to abuse.

Lesson learnt girls.

Vikki xx

Right. There is no Morning Gorgeous this morning. As anyone who knows this blog will know, everything I write comes straight from the heart. Whatever I’m feeling at the time I write is what I put down.

And today, I am angry. VERY angry.

I’m angry at a lot of people. But I’m also angry at myself. I’ll deal with myself first.

I’m angry at myself for not dealing with things in the right way. I made a mistake this morning and it’s cost me. Not a lot, my reputation has taken a battering and will do in the near future. But I can handle that in the context of what’s going on. What I’m angry at, for myself, is writing something down in the way I did. At times like this you make mistakes, sometimes you make a joke that’s taken the wrong way. And that’s what I did. I shouldn’t have done it. But I did. I could kick myself.

Now to why I’m angry at other people. I’m angry at other people because there’s better ways of dealing with something like that.

Women can be bitchy. VERY bitchy. It’s a part of being female. And I’m something I’m learning the hard way. But when you publicly tell people something personal to you and they continue to treat you the way they do, that’s wrong. Accuse me all you like, but there’s more to me than that. And if you get to know me, you’ll realise that.

So. This post is for all the girls in the group known as Bitchmouth on Facebook. This post is an apology to you for triggering something nasty and breaking the rules.

But it is also to tell certain people within the group to go do one. There’s better ways of dealing with a difficult situation. And before you say it; I don’t know what it was it was like in the playground, because my situation occurred in the playground.

Your loss.

Vikki