Off topic, but not.

Morning gorgeous xx

How is your day / evening / night going? Hope you’re at least trying to enjoy yourself. If things aren’t going so good, let me send you a hug and say that they will improve. You just need to find your way, and that’s not always easy; I know.

But anyway., moving on. I want to go slightly off topic today because I want to describe a situation that’s happened to me many times in my life. Bugs the hell out of me when it happens, but because of my job, I face this a lot. And it takes a lot from you to deal with – it’s not easy and don’t let anyone tell you it is.

So, I work in Technical Support. I’ve done almost every job in the Tech. Support Industry, 1st Line, 2nd Line, Networks, Training, Field, the lot. I won’t say I know everything there is to know, because I don’t. The industry changing every two years doesn’t help that cause either, but I’ve been in it a while – Over 20 years, on and off. Deal with it. Now, every so often you will face a customer / client / whatever; who seriously needs attitude realignment therapy. All you techies & customer service types and anyone who deals with the public at large; will get that straight away. You know the guy I mean, and no offence guys but it’s usually a bloke – not always, but usually. It’s the guy who’s REALLY pissed off at something. They’re having a bad day. And then something breaks, as it always does when you’re having a bad day. And no one can fix it. ****. And they say bad things come in threes…

You got the person pictured in your mind yet?…

Yeah, Mister Attitude is walking around the office and everyone else is on egg shells. This is a daily occurrence for some people and they’re always walking around like that. For others it’s a one-off and can be dealt with. Depends on the problem, the situation, whatever.

Just coming back on topic, all you girls will get this better than the guys. Change someone’s hormone imbalance and put them through puberty as the opposite sex again. Teenager in the body of an Adult? 13 going on 30? Hello…

Right where were we. Ahhh yes, I remember. Mister (or Mrs) Attitude. Okay, so, they have a problem. In this case their computer is broken and needs fixing, so what do they do? Well firstly, try they to fix it themselves. They’re not happy it’s not working and they want to get on with their day without interruption. They can’t fix it though, they don’t know how. The problem gets worse. So they pick up the phone and call the help-desk. The help-desk is in another country, in a different time-zone and the operator’s first language doesn’t match the caller. Frustrating. And to add insult to injury, because they’ve tried to fix the problem themselves, the help-desk operator can’t. They’ve made it worse.

Having worked on a help-desk, I know there are rules you have to follow when it comes to what and when you’re allowed to say something on the phone. And a good, well trained, operator knows when to break or bend those rules. But in the situation above, those rules apply as they’re there to ensure the call goes as smoothly; and as quickly, as possible. In this situation though, it rarely does. And the operator usually ends up offending the caller in some way (or the other way around) – strike two and off to second line we go.

OK, so I’ve spent a good deal of time at 2nd Line – We’re the guys and gals who fix stuff. We know just enough of our shit to get the job done and keep people happy. But when it comes to real major stuff, that’s the Network and Infrastructure teams – they keep the lights on, we make sure the bulbs and switches are working. (ps, all you desktop guys with big heads who think you know more than you do? Cool off, remember, 20 YEARS…)

Anyway, the help-desk pass you a call; and you look at who the user is, and they’re known for needing attitude readjustment. But you deal anyway, you have to, someone’s got to fix it and it’s now down to you. So off you go, you can do this you’re the cool 2nd Line Guy / Gal. You get there, you can see they’re in a bad mood but they’re polite because someone has turned up to fix it. You look at the problem and you realise they’ve screwed it. No way is it a 30 second fix, and you need to tell them.

Thing is, as you’re looking at the problem and they’re describing to you what happened, leaving out the important details (what they did to break it). Well build that wall now bitches and build it fast – you’re going to need it. This one is going to be painful, and you just know it’s going to go off. Whatever it is that pissed them off earlier in the day is about to hit you right in the face, and there’s nothing you can do about it –  It’s coming right at you.

How do you deal with it?

Well the best way is to stay calm and let them rant, you can have your say later. And you can, it’s not then end of the world if you don’t get it said at the time. Just because Mr or Mrs Attitude want’s to go through 20 different bullet points; doesn’t mean you have to remember them all, you just need to get the overall picture – i.e., they’re pissed at something. If you can work out what it is, great, go get a job as a counsellor. If not, who really gives a shit? I don’t, that’s for sure – and I could take a job as a counsellor.

But seriously, the point I’m trying to make is; what’s the point in getting angry at everything. Don’t fight fire with fire, fight fire with water. And if that don’t work, just let the damn building burn to the ground – you can always rebuild it when the fire goes out.

So to let you know where the ‘On Topic’ comes in, well that’s exactly what I decided to do in work. You see, I have mentioned (briefly) that there was an attitude in work when I came out. And that it was said – directly to me, might I add – that I’m, “Not a Woman”. Well, if you want to get chromosomal on my ass, no, I’m not. Actually I don’t know if I’m XX (unlikely), XY (probable) or some other combination (XXY, XYY, XXXY, whatever) – intersex I believe is the term they use.

What I do know, is that my brain thinks I’m female – and body looks male. I have to work with that shit, I have to live my life and deal with that on a daily basis and the best the medical professions can offer me is Gender Reassignment Surgery. Well I’m up for that, as I want to live out the rest of my life happy; just like you do.

So here’s the deal – Back the **** off and give me the space to do so. It’s not hard when you think about it.

Much Love & Hugs,



By Vikki Kinsella

My name is Vikki, and I’m a Transgender Female living and working in the UK.

I’ve started this blog purely as a way of writing down my thoughts and feelings, as I now start my journey through transition from living life as Male to becoming Female, and beyond. You see, I spent 45 years of my life living as, what is now known as, a cisgender Male - With almost no idea that I could even consider being Female, let alone consider corrective surgery. But I must admit I did have a tendency to THINK like a woman sometimes... But doesn't every Man think like a woman on occasion? Don't try and hide it boys, you know you do, lol...

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