Morning gorgeous xx
How you all doing today? Good I hope. I can honestly say that since my last post; I haven’t been – far from it in fact, I’ve been very stupid. In fact, I’ve been making the kind of mistakes a 14 year old girl would make. Yet from the perspective of someone who is 46 years old.
That means I’ve been experiencing some VERY powerful emotions. The kind of emotions and feelings that are uncontrollable. The kind that make you do things you wouldn’t normally do.
I’ve done something very stupid and I’ve scared quite a few people; including myself – Because I was that stupid. Stupid enough to do something that I said I’d never do again; and yet I did. Can’t do that again, can’t repeat the mistakes of the past; that’s what brought me here in the fisrt place and this was one very big, and very stupid mistake. One which a lot of people will shout at me for (and as I write this, of those that I have told; most have) – It is well deserved.
Basically though, I’ve blown my whole life apart and it’s about time I did. Things cannot continue in the direction they were going in. I believe I’m at a dead end.
I’m here as a result of some extremely powerful emotions inside my head, trying desperately to get out. They need tocome out, they’ve destroyed me more than once and I stubbornly refuse to put a lid on them anymore.
The next few weeks will be crucial.