Morning Gorgeous xx
Hope your all OK out there? I’ll pass on my usual support to you if not, you know where I am if you need me. I’m always available for someone in need of support, I just can’t see anyone down and out without offering to lend a hand up. Like I have this week, but that’s a different story…
So, I’ll bet you’re wondering why I haven’t posted in a while? No? I’ll tell you anyway. It’s been a very difficult time for me. Now that all the major changes are complete, it’s a case of getting used to my new life. I see the world differently, the world sees me differently. I still react the same, but the world reacts to me differently. I don’t know how to handle that. I have to learn.
There’s a story behind recent events which I will detail in my next post. But the upshot of it is, I s that I nearly lost everything – and I mean it was VERY close, two hours close.
I’d given up. I couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t feel like I was getting the help I needed, but I also didn’t KNOW what help I needed. And consequently; no one knew how to help me and I didn’t know how to help myself, or even if I could help myself – things had gone that far?
It’s hard enough to write this but then I look up, and look around, and realise where I am and how I got here, and it was nothing short of a miracle.
I have a new job. A job where they accept me as me, Victoria. They treat me as a woman – I am female. Even the men in the office did the usual; “Let’s get to know the new hot chick” routine – Without even realising that they were doing it. They were very disappointed to discover I was Transgender (smiles) – It’s great; I laugh, I cry, I work, I socialize, I get on with it and I enjoy my day.
It’s a great place to work too, with a lot of benefits that I didn’t expect. Those benefits go a long way to mitigating the errors of the past and although they won’t last forever, while they’re here, let’s not knock them down.
The money. Well. Have you heard the term hitting the floor and bouncing off the ceiling? Yeah, I won’t talk about that. Best not. Suffice to say that it’s good – very good and I appreciate every last penny that I earn; because it is hard earned and well deserved.
So I look around, I realise where I am and how I got here, and the risks I have to take to keep everything together. But I will do it. I will do the very best that I can do with what I have because that’s what life has taught me.
And will be grateful for every single day that I am alive.
Much love,
Vikki xx
Feeling Trans 